I must say that Nigerian society is intensely promiscuous, however we strive hard to hide our true nature under a veneer of decency and religious piety. In my experience, young women (16-25) in this country gain a great deal more sexual experience than the men in their age group. Why do I say this? Simply because they tend to get involved with older uninhibited men who have a great deal more disposable income than the young bucks, this is coupled by the fact that women tend to mature faster than men and the prospect of dating an older bloke is far more appealing than a young dude.
These young women have the opportunity to indulge in activities that they probably never imagined. They get to live a supposedly glamorous life, where they are wined and dined in the very best restaurants, indulge in wild sex, get sold a great deal of lies and generally hang out with men that are considerably less stressful than their male counterparts. The down side of this is that these young women generally get passed around by their older friends until they expire and a new bunch of green horns take their place.
The men on the other hand begin making up for lost time time when their pockets are sufficiently large enough to give off the illusion of wealth. It is not uncommon to find a man of thirty and above just begining to truly indulge himself and explore his sexuallity. Typically, at this stage the women in their age group are either married, looking to settle or literally shagged out. Women are generally so much wiser, more experienced and more worldly than their male counter parts.
I am gratefull that I grew up in sexually permissive Europe, and being a horn-dog totally out of my system, I cannot imagine attending these wild group sex parties that seem to be the craze in Nigeria today. I don't see the point in dressing up like a pimp, grooming and pruning myself, splashing on cologne, wearing a blazer in the heat of Lagos and hitting the clubs to prey on teenage girls. I would much rather stay home watching a movie or having a quiet drink with my childhood friends, than hang out at 'pot-belly central' (La-casa) on a saturday night. No more "take-away" for me.......
How is it going peeps? I missed you all!!!!!!
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26 comments:
lol! funny yet great post! naija has sex orgies and stuff now?? chai , i am so not in touch.. i heard its bad, but didnt think it was thaaaat bad...
I am unsure of how much of the state of sex in naija is to do with promiscuity and how much is to do with greedy girls. It seems ok for babes to sell their soul for a gucci bag.
The last time I voiced this opinion I was chastised as there are people who "need" the funds that they get from these men. I won't go there as I don't know.
But babes who sleep with men because they want a lifestyle that their careers and pockets cannot afford them do not realise that it is the men that are getting the bargain.
Think about it; a bit of your soul for a £300 pound pair of shoes or even a £20,000 car. That soul is not yours to sell. And when you sell something that does not belong to you, you have to answer to the owner.
Hmmm...naija gals these days, na from 12 years...no kidding, am very serious oo! Its gettn ridiculous
I think the balance is gals start early and retire early while guys start late and NEVER retire...lol!
Have a lovely week dude!
hmm!
very interesting and very well written by d way.
i always say nigeria breeds d highest amount of hypocrites and i mean it.
the 'young gurl and the aristo' is a continous cycle in nigeria...matta of fact it is now a way of life. Glad 2 see uve grown pass that. i mean i 4 one think sex is 'bananas' when done with d right person.
u kno with sum1 u find attractive, and basically can connect with mentally.
but errm 1 question 4 u boor.....so r u saying if u were 2 come acroos a HOT female whom u found very sexy, u wouldnt even give d cahnce 2 a 1 nite stand?
basically is a one nite stand totally not an option 4 u? Just curious
and as 4 how i dey...mehnnnn i just dey lyk dele o(Lol)
If you are not hanging out at "big belly central" when you too have your own deep pockets then I guess we will have something to celebrate... :)
Aren't you perpetuating the stereotype that women in their thirties are literally "Shagged out" if they are not married already at that age? How do you suppose that things will change if women are continuous labeled as "wanting to settle down"(code word for desperate), or completely "Shagged Out" (code word for HOE, at 30)?
I get where you are coming from but we have to watch our language so that we don't end up contributing to the same messed up system that we are crying out against.
GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK
Wild sex parties? Where? Lol, im not sure about your statistics though Mr Boor...did u do a survey?
@bimby:
It is the way it has always been, just that the poverty level has brought it a little mor into the mainstream.
@c'est moi:
To some it is a fair exchange, to others it is exploitation. As far as I am concerned, it is a free world God bless them all.
@Ugo:
At least you get it.
As they say early to rise early to bed. Lol
@I'm a babe:
In all honesty, if the babe is hot enough and she has some substance to her, why not? However if she operates on a purely base leve (which so many Nigerians do), then I am not interested.
@Tminx:
No I didnt conduct a survey, the post is as a result of keen observation. Ask some of your male freinds about these parties maybe the will tell you. How is Sweden?
@cee:
It is great tht you are willing to put yourself forward and stand up for the right of the millions of shagged out females out there.
However I need to make a point or two to you, I place no premium on a woman's supposed virtue, I cannot care less how many men she has shagged neither do I consider the shagged out majority to be hoes.
Wanting to settle down is definitely not a code word for desperate, it is simply a stage that everyone goes through. If a woman has had her fun and seen all that is out there, would she not want to 'settle down' to a life of spinsterhood or 'settle down' with a partner?
Kindly read my blog with an open mind, don't misconstrue my posts ok?
By the way, maybe I might just bump into you on the dance floors of Big-belly central one day. You never know I might just be dancing with my shagged out date for the night or maybe a virtuous woman like yourself, (if my pockets are deep enough that is) :-)
Thanks for welcoming me back.
Have a good one gorgeous.
so true man, so very true. poverty has brought promiscuity to the fore, coupled with greed it has a devastating effect on social norms. i have always maintained nigeria is very religious but not very Godly. there is a difference.insightful post
@The Last King:
It is a the current state of affairs in the country of ours. What can we do?
The problem is that people do not raise "eyebrows" anymore, it is accepted, the norm of the day, women accept it, wives, mothers, friends, why not? In Nigeria, money rules. The one thing that irks the life out of me is their religous bullshit. In that country, nearly every other girl you meet is a "born again" or a serious church go-er. The kind of hypocrisy that goes on in that country must be an "antropological wonder". We are all award winning actors and actresses in that country.
You got it spot on. Nigerian society is quite promiscuous but hypocritical about it.Young girls get in the game pretty early and guys gettin older with a little dough trying patheticaly to hold on to their ebbing youth. I found it amusing to watch when I lived there. It's actually a timeless dance and wont stop anytime soon though. I see you are evolving as a man. One does have to retire from these games and seek more meaningful pursuits. Nice one.
still tryin 2 analyze if i agree with d proposition dat poverty has brot promiscuity to d fore.
i'm one of those dat bliv dat ppl are either promiscuous or not and isnt based on poverty indices. 4 me its more abt us growin up and being more aware of these things. cuz, in our parents days, these things happened, but we didnt kno abt em cuz we werent aware... wen i was in uni these things were happenin, but in an older generation and it was only gist... now we have come in direct contact with these things in our generation, cuz we are older and more aware of the happenings of our society and its ills [or for some, its pleasures]...
just my own 2 cents...
@Waffarian:
I am definitely on the same page as you. I really do not want my children to grow up in this society.
@Anonymous:
I am with you on that mate.
@Phazzed:
In a lot of these cases money changes hands. But you do have a point though.
Wow...harsh words...very harsh indeed
Harsh words? Where?
nigerians are schizo about sex, and it is tied into religion in a big way. This is also all tangled up with our retarded approach to male infidelity.
While I agree that women are more practical than men, I'm not sure I agree with your implicit assumption that men chase younger girls cos they can't get women their own age.
However I still believe that the primary driver for what is going on in Nigeria with respect to this is that the man doesn't owe the woman anything when they get divorced. If a woman could get half on divorce if infidelity could be proven la casa would be empty on friday nights. aiight I'm done.
@snazzy:
With all due respect, you really don't get my point. Where on earth did I state or imply that men cannot get women that are of the same age as they are? Where on earth did you get that from? Sorry mate but you clearly missed the boat on this issue, maybe you ought to read it again so as to get the full picture I am trying to paint.
Now our postulation that a change in divorce laws would bring about a change in the attitude he have towards male infidelity is myopic at best. Nigeria is a patriarchal society, regardless of whether the divorce laws are changed, the inherrent attitudes and social mores of this society will never change (at least not in my lifetime. I still struggle to truly grasp your point.
Interesting stuff...I can finally get to read your blog! Welcome back!!
@fineboy,
I love your blog to death, good luck with your exams.
boorish i thnk snazzy is a tad bit right. if the divorce laws were 2 be changed in nigeria it wouldnt completely wipe out male infidelity but it would definitely reduce it. atleats it wouldnt be done so publicly as if it is nothing.
imagine a married man approaching u with his wedding band and asking u 2 be his side-kick. WAT NERVE! a white man wouldnot dare 2 do that.
infidelity still perisits in the 'western world' but it is alot more 'hidden' cos of how much the cheater knows is at risk.
...my 100 bucks
@babe
We live in a society where there is still a massive stigma attached ti divorce. Have a think abouit this.
I think i got ur point in general, but I tend to deconstruct arguments when I read to try and get to underlying assumptions. This is how i came to that conclusion about the implicit assumption.
You say that men at thirty and above are testing their sexuality, and that women at that age are either married, looking to settle down or are shagged out. It reads like the women are not interested in running around with the newly liberated men. The implication is that for both statements to be true, men wanting to explore their sexuality will have to chase younger girls.
You might not think it is the main reason why men chase younger girls but from a logic perspective it is an assumption u make.
The analysis of "why a divorce law that sees marital assets as communal would affect overt male infidelity" is long and so i won't bore u with it here.
Though I will say that from you argument about patriarchy you believe that divorce tends not to happen because of the social stigma and social mores, I believe that a woman believing she has no options is the primary driver for the low divorce rates.
Ah nawa o. I musta been outta Naija for a lonnnng time! You see, I was very naiive when I was in Naija. I was one of the 'good girls'. I even had a bf whom I never even gave a peck to. The most we did was hug, and even that was like pulling teeth.
...my point is that I am shocked. But glad you find no interest in them - at least not enough to actually 'do' them.
I went to Lag so I didnt have to go far to hear outrageous stories cos you'd always have a friend or 2 whose circles overlap with some c-r-a-a-y peeps!
The things I could tell you eh??
The crazy shit I've seen!
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