We got backstage passes to the LL cool J and Akon concert that took place last weekend. We left strict instructions to be contacted when the international acts were being prepped to come on stage and spent most of the night at Six Degrees North having drinks till 1:30 am when Akon was sheduled to begin his set.
We got the call we had been waiting for and made our way to the polo club. We were feeling rather cool with ourselves as we were allowed to use the entrance reserved for the artists, and it was an added bonus being away from the crowd and watching the stars from a touching distance. Akon wasn't great but LL was absolutely brilliant. He performed all the classics like I Need Love, Around the Way Girl, Jing-a-ling Baby, Rock The Bells and his more recent hits like Phenomenon, Hey Lover, Headsprung, Doin' It Loungin and Luv U Better.
He was absolutely amazing and proved himself to be a seasoned performer, he gave 100% and the crowd adored him. I bumped into a couple of old friends backstage that i didn't know had moved back home, and one of them allowed me to shoot a few short clips of LL in action. He made good his promise of posting them on youtube. Here is one; once he posts the rest of them, i'll update this blog.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
The Issue Of Infidelity
Can you forgive your partner/husband/wife cheating on you? I am sure that most people out there would claim to be a one man woman or a one woman man, however in my experience people may start out a relationship with the best of intentions, but somehow things dont go according to plan. In my past i seduced enough girls in serious relationships to know that; because ones partner strays does not mean that the love has dissipated. Mistakes happen, people get restless, all sorts take place in these things that we share with one another, in my view if a relationship can be salvaged, then by all means don't throw it away over some meaningless act.
I believe that it is against human nature (both male and female) to remain with a single partner.Hence the need for honesty and openness in a relationship. If you feel the need to cheat talk it over with your partner and come to an understanding. I cannot deal with lies, but i can forgive anything if my woman is honest with me. I am of the impression that there is no hard and fast rule to determine whether a man stays with his wife following an affair or vice-versa. Society is faced with a problem created by crazy moral rules that ignore human nature. Yes people cheat, and people will always cheat. I think that we need to stop fetishizing the act of infidelity and get down to the brass tacks. Accept that your partner stands a good chance of getting it outside, and if it does happen, look beyong the irrelevant act and focus on what is more important.
Just my two cents.....
I believe that it is against human nature (both male and female) to remain with a single partner.Hence the need for honesty and openness in a relationship. If you feel the need to cheat talk it over with your partner and come to an understanding. I cannot deal with lies, but i can forgive anything if my woman is honest with me. I am of the impression that there is no hard and fast rule to determine whether a man stays with his wife following an affair or vice-versa. Society is faced with a problem created by crazy moral rules that ignore human nature. Yes people cheat, and people will always cheat. I think that we need to stop fetishizing the act of infidelity and get down to the brass tacks. Accept that your partner stands a good chance of getting it outside, and if it does happen, look beyong the irrelevant act and focus on what is more important.
Just my two cents.....
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Jessie
This song takes me back to my boarding school days in Brighton, it is called 'Jessie' by Joshua Kadison. It is a haunting ode to a a woman that consumes him and always seems to find him at his weakest and when the yearning for her is at it greatest. This song has reduced me to tears (well almost). I've had this song on heavy rotation for over a decade now. What i found out recently is that it his breakup hymn written about his relationship with the actress Sarah Jessica Parker....
Would have posted the video here if i knew how, but here is the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=q2MgxckYd1k
Would have posted the video here if i knew how, but here is the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=q2MgxckYd1k
My State Of Irreligion (I Am The Great Agnostic)
My change in outlook occured when i was sixteen years old, i decided that the christian faith would play a peripheral role in my life. I never could accept the teachings of the faith in the strict sense in which the very religious people do. I somehow felt compelled to seek out questions of conduct for myself and reject all forms of orthodoxy.
Is there a God? In my view, the question of God’s existence is unanswerable. I don't know for certain whether or not God exists, therefore I neither believe nor disbelieve in him. Theologians and adherrents to different faiths have tried to to prove, for millennia, that God exists. Whilst atheists have attempted to prove that God does not exist. Personally I am of the impression that neither side has convincingly succeeded at their task, hence my standpoint:
I am an agnostic, a thinker, and not a believer.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
To You all...
My people happiness is a fleeting emotion. However fleeting it may be, i want you all to look back on your lives and say to yourselves: "I have had a great run". Regardless of your present situation, regardless of the problems you face, regardless of whatever twists and turns may come. Put a smile on your face and get on with things.
If you have a wife or husband at home, if you have children, if your parents are still alive, as long as you are still here. My brothers and sisters kneel and thank whichever God you worship and make the most of every moment you have. Go home and tell your wives or husbands you love them, kiss your kids, hug your partner, call your family just be happy.
If you have a wife or husband at home, if you have children, if your parents are still alive, as long as you are still here. My brothers and sisters kneel and thank whichever God you worship and make the most of every moment you have. Go home and tell your wives or husbands you love them, kiss your kids, hug your partner, call your family just be happy.
Monday, December 4, 2006
I Love You
Inspired by overwhelmednaijababe i composed this rather poorly written but meaningful poem. Don't gag....
I Love You
I love you not because of the way you are, but because of the person I am when I'm with you.
I love you because you believe in me, and always stayed true.
I love you because of the sacrifices you've made, and the sacrifices you continue to make.
I love you because you are honest, and you will rather give than take.
I love you because you understood, whilst others chose to misconstrue.
Yes mother your only son loves you.......
And then they were gone
The doctor detected two heartbeats
The scan confirmed it was true
That my girl, my lover was pregnant
With not one baby but two.
We were pregnant, in our early twenties and a couple of weeks to graduation, i was adamant that we keep the babies, get married and take responsibillity for our actions. "Twins are a blessing" i used to say, she agreed to keep them and trust that i will be true to my word, i already imagined what my children would be like and how i would dedicate my whole life towards having a sucessful family. One day i got a call at 11:45 am. "I just had the procedure, i decided not to keep them, i must think of my career, sorry babes."
Then it dawned on me that never will i get to see them, hold them or care for them..............
They were gone..............
The meaning of true love
Three years ago i came across this article written by a brilliant Nigerian woman, it played a very big part in making me the person that i am today, i just thought to share it with you all. Happy reading..
The meaning of true love
Zainab Umar Bubaram
Have you ever sat to think about your life, how it all began and the pattern it is taking? Have you ever sat a lover and asked him/her reasons for loving you? It does not matter whether you make the first move or not. If you have, what were the answers and facial expressions? Put shyness aside, your love is your life and you have to be careful, because something dreadful is chasing true love away and occupying its habitat in all nooks and crannies.
Love is something naturally created with its own special features, charisma, zenith and tenderness. It is a thing that any living creature feels, adores and obeys. As it is a gift, the mind needs to have it, the heart needs to feel it and the body accepts it to become a full being. The instance of Adam could be cited, when he was created alone he felt lonely and knew he needed to have something he had no knowledge of what it means to be complete and be happy. Then Eve was created and the equation was balanced.
Love has three faces: lust, infatuation and the real love which is very rare these days, but sweetest as ever imagined. Lust is one's mere desire for something seen in a person. The desire dies the moment satisfaction have been obtained. Infatuation easily occupies a mind and heart without a person knowing it and makes him think heis in love. It happens when a person has a feeling of admiration for the other that makes him feel he is in love. The moment he is fed-up with the thing with time, or the thing being admired fades and sometimes if a better one is seen or a little problem erupts, it vanishes. Infatuation is what makes a person love another so much that he cannot see the partner as he/she really is.
But real love comes naturally to the mature mind. And what could be a mature mind? A mature mind is that which believes in love. Real love is not blind as the saying goes. Rather when one is infatuated he absolutely becomes blind that he cannot trace out black from white. If love comes, then it walks in with open and sensible eyes and an open mind that looks far beyond all things.
Love could explode at first sight, but mostly, it comes gradually. It touches gently. It itches tenderly and steals a heart completely in a tender, sweet, special way. And not like infatuation that cares blindly and impatiently.
As a man is created with certain unique characteristics and known to be rational, a female also has a different nature that makes her emotional. The pattern each gender loves is different from the other. A male is known to be the king of gender, he is also bestowed with the confidence of making the first move. A female however, finds it difficult and faulty to approach the opposite sex as a male does, except otherwise. This is because ladies have pride when it comes to love. It is nature and can never be changed. Because of this, ladies are always found in the habit of being endearing in most cases. Why? Because it is the only confidential way they could behave in contribution to the whole affair. It could be in form of words, dressing, gait, gesture, look to mention but few.
These flamboyant things if not properly treated tend to impress some dependent minds and rush them to the garbage world of false love and such is the hallmark of infatuation.
A man may love a lady thinking and assuming she had some features that will make him happy in bed, he may love a lady because she is beautiful, or because of her family background. He may also love because of money and mention them. But the moment he finds out that she isn't as thought/ assumed, or if the beauty fades, money vanishes, etc, her case will be a gargantuan one because his desire will be grafting for another. As the Hausa saying, "soyayya tsuntsune" meaning "love is a bird", it flies from one tree to the other (infatuation).
The whole affair is as simple as this, you may long to taste something you have been hearing to be very sweet. For you to grade its sweetness you have to give it a try (one man's food is another's poison). The moment you get hold of the thing and taste, one of three things must happen; its either you find it not sweet to you as said, and you will never care about it again, or you taste and continue taking till you fed-up and abandon it, or you may find it not sweet but add something that will make it sweet to you and you will never give it up, you may also find it sweet and not let go of it.
The first point is application to lust, the second one to infatuation and the third to humble true love. Puzzle your brain about these before moving further.
The first point does not even last long as most couples of these days believe in "toast" before marriage. Infatuation may pretend to be long to the unlucky ones that get tied to matrimony, it is then that infatuation will have a ground of confession without being begged.
But the case of a never-let-go affair (true love) couples may have studied each other, taken corrections before matrimony, and can never be parted except by God. This kind of love gives birth to a lucky matrimony, a successful marriage, a happy home, a sweet decent generation, plus a peaceful heart and mind. True lovers always co-operate, they live to enjoy their marriage, their world and their lives.
Notwithstanding, there are minds that have steps by step gone far from the call to the right path, they have gone far dreaming of possessing mansions, beautiful partners, wearing fancy clothes and driving flashy cars. Mind you, happiness does not lie in riches or by always appearing flashy. It exists where peace is. And where could peace be? Peace exist where there is true love and true love exist in the mind that believes in it; the minds that are always eager to co-operate, a heart with concern. It brings success because it encourages, it floods enmity and greediness, it waves goodbye to the pedestrian selfishness. It resides where meddling emigrated and materialism becomes a long forgotten issue.
Materialism is always accompanied by a devilish passion a greedy mind that will continuously drive one comfortably to the planet of absolute desire, a place of destruction and a dirty word. It will make your yesterday a regret, your today a sorrow and give you a hopeless tomorrow. However, any soul that always follows the desire of the heart is definite to find himself being infatuated, due to an impatient heart, an eager mind and an imbalanced brain, that slumbers to a hungry lions den.
Despite that, each every disease has been created with a medicine and the medicine definitely works except not found or not properly used. Likewise, it is not late for each and every lover to examine the kind of affair he is in. Compare and contrast between true love and infatuation. Then puzzle your brain and make a decision; life is short.
Love endures, infatuation does not. True love is not blind, infatuation is blind because it happens. When one has a very strong passion for a partner, that prevents him from thinking about the other in a balanced and sensible way. Love touches kindly and grows gradually, infatuation explodes at a moment and diminishes with time. Love never fades, infatuation, easily vanishes. Love is patient and does resist all hardship. Love deals with the inner being and qualify the outer being by the judgement of the inner being, infatuation gives distinction to the outer being. Love is humble, infatuation envies and never traces errors. Love give sex a secondary treatment, infatuation worship sex and materialism. Love increases by the quality of a lover, infatuation increases by the quantity of a partner and reduced by the quantity of a partner. Love takes caution of meddlers and thinks twice, meddlers can easily separate ones in infatuation. Love respects, infatuation does not. Love have rules and it punishes only when the rules are being violated, infatuation does not have rules and it is wicked because it punishes unnecessarily. Love adores truth, infatuation makes one lie to gain confidence, but lies only flowers, it does not bear fruits.
Be wise in order to have a sweet memorable yesterday, happy today and a hopeful and fruitful tomorrow. A matured mind always remembers that nothing on earth is permanent. Take this as a guide when you lose a beloved one. Love is really a deadly gun that never kills. Remember, time changes and heals yesterday, it brings the unknown tomorrow. Love is not blind.
Babaram is of Mass Communication Department, University of Maiduguri.
Zainab Umar Bubaram
Have you ever sat to think about your life, how it all began and the pattern it is taking? Have you ever sat a lover and asked him/her reasons for loving you? It does not matter whether you make the first move or not. If you have, what were the answers and facial expressions? Put shyness aside, your love is your life and you have to be careful, because something dreadful is chasing true love away and occupying its habitat in all nooks and crannies.
Love is something naturally created with its own special features, charisma, zenith and tenderness. It is a thing that any living creature feels, adores and obeys. As it is a gift, the mind needs to have it, the heart needs to feel it and the body accepts it to become a full being. The instance of Adam could be cited, when he was created alone he felt lonely and knew he needed to have something he had no knowledge of what it means to be complete and be happy. Then Eve was created and the equation was balanced.
Love has three faces: lust, infatuation and the real love which is very rare these days, but sweetest as ever imagined. Lust is one's mere desire for something seen in a person. The desire dies the moment satisfaction have been obtained. Infatuation easily occupies a mind and heart without a person knowing it and makes him think heis in love. It happens when a person has a feeling of admiration for the other that makes him feel he is in love. The moment he is fed-up with the thing with time, or the thing being admired fades and sometimes if a better one is seen or a little problem erupts, it vanishes. Infatuation is what makes a person love another so much that he cannot see the partner as he/she really is.
But real love comes naturally to the mature mind. And what could be a mature mind? A mature mind is that which believes in love. Real love is not blind as the saying goes. Rather when one is infatuated he absolutely becomes blind that he cannot trace out black from white. If love comes, then it walks in with open and sensible eyes and an open mind that looks far beyond all things.
Love could explode at first sight, but mostly, it comes gradually. It touches gently. It itches tenderly and steals a heart completely in a tender, sweet, special way. And not like infatuation that cares blindly and impatiently.
As a man is created with certain unique characteristics and known to be rational, a female also has a different nature that makes her emotional. The pattern each gender loves is different from the other. A male is known to be the king of gender, he is also bestowed with the confidence of making the first move. A female however, finds it difficult and faulty to approach the opposite sex as a male does, except otherwise. This is because ladies have pride when it comes to love. It is nature and can never be changed. Because of this, ladies are always found in the habit of being endearing in most cases. Why? Because it is the only confidential way they could behave in contribution to the whole affair. It could be in form of words, dressing, gait, gesture, look to mention but few.
These flamboyant things if not properly treated tend to impress some dependent minds and rush them to the garbage world of false love and such is the hallmark of infatuation.
A man may love a lady thinking and assuming she had some features that will make him happy in bed, he may love a lady because she is beautiful, or because of her family background. He may also love because of money and mention them. But the moment he finds out that she isn't as thought/ assumed, or if the beauty fades, money vanishes, etc, her case will be a gargantuan one because his desire will be grafting for another. As the Hausa saying, "soyayya tsuntsune" meaning "love is a bird", it flies from one tree to the other (infatuation).
The whole affair is as simple as this, you may long to taste something you have been hearing to be very sweet. For you to grade its sweetness you have to give it a try (one man's food is another's poison). The moment you get hold of the thing and taste, one of three things must happen; its either you find it not sweet to you as said, and you will never care about it again, or you taste and continue taking till you fed-up and abandon it, or you may find it not sweet but add something that will make it sweet to you and you will never give it up, you may also find it sweet and not let go of it.
The first point is application to lust, the second one to infatuation and the third to humble true love. Puzzle your brain about these before moving further.
The first point does not even last long as most couples of these days believe in "toast" before marriage. Infatuation may pretend to be long to the unlucky ones that get tied to matrimony, it is then that infatuation will have a ground of confession without being begged.
But the case of a never-let-go affair (true love) couples may have studied each other, taken corrections before matrimony, and can never be parted except by God. This kind of love gives birth to a lucky matrimony, a successful marriage, a happy home, a sweet decent generation, plus a peaceful heart and mind. True lovers always co-operate, they live to enjoy their marriage, their world and their lives.
Notwithstanding, there are minds that have steps by step gone far from the call to the right path, they have gone far dreaming of possessing mansions, beautiful partners, wearing fancy clothes and driving flashy cars. Mind you, happiness does not lie in riches or by always appearing flashy. It exists where peace is. And where could peace be? Peace exist where there is true love and true love exist in the mind that believes in it; the minds that are always eager to co-operate, a heart with concern. It brings success because it encourages, it floods enmity and greediness, it waves goodbye to the pedestrian selfishness. It resides where meddling emigrated and materialism becomes a long forgotten issue.
Materialism is always accompanied by a devilish passion a greedy mind that will continuously drive one comfortably to the planet of absolute desire, a place of destruction and a dirty word. It will make your yesterday a regret, your today a sorrow and give you a hopeless tomorrow. However, any soul that always follows the desire of the heart is definite to find himself being infatuated, due to an impatient heart, an eager mind and an imbalanced brain, that slumbers to a hungry lions den.
Despite that, each every disease has been created with a medicine and the medicine definitely works except not found or not properly used. Likewise, it is not late for each and every lover to examine the kind of affair he is in. Compare and contrast between true love and infatuation. Then puzzle your brain and make a decision; life is short.
Love endures, infatuation does not. True love is not blind, infatuation is blind because it happens. When one has a very strong passion for a partner, that prevents him from thinking about the other in a balanced and sensible way. Love touches kindly and grows gradually, infatuation explodes at a moment and diminishes with time. Love never fades, infatuation, easily vanishes. Love is patient and does resist all hardship. Love deals with the inner being and qualify the outer being by the judgement of the inner being, infatuation gives distinction to the outer being. Love is humble, infatuation envies and never traces errors. Love give sex a secondary treatment, infatuation worship sex and materialism. Love increases by the quality of a lover, infatuation increases by the quantity of a partner and reduced by the quantity of a partner. Love takes caution of meddlers and thinks twice, meddlers can easily separate ones in infatuation. Love respects, infatuation does not. Love have rules and it punishes only when the rules are being violated, infatuation does not have rules and it is wicked because it punishes unnecessarily. Love adores truth, infatuation makes one lie to gain confidence, but lies only flowers, it does not bear fruits.
Be wise in order to have a sweet memorable yesterday, happy today and a hopeful and fruitful tomorrow. A matured mind always remembers that nothing on earth is permanent. Take this as a guide when you lose a beloved one. Love is really a deadly gun that never kills. Remember, time changes and heals yesterday, it brings the unknown tomorrow. Love is not blind.
Babaram is of Mass Communication Department, University of Maiduguri.
Saturday, December 2, 2006
A Couple Of True Stories From My Past
STORY 1
I was left traumatised by this incident with a supposedly calm and well brought up Nigerian girl. I was not looking for a relationship, and neither was she, we agreed to have a bit of fun and part ways when it all got stale. As I am writing this, i pray no one else suffers a similar fate at the hands of an abusive partner. I knew i had a problem the first time we slept with each other, as she faked her orgasm, she screamed:
"you are gifted, you are blessed, you have taken me to heaven, i cannot allow any other woman enjoy this".
When I decided to end this daliance, she poked her finger in my face and said i would live to regret my decision. On a cold wintry night after studying hard at the 24 hour library. To my great surprise, out of the corner of my eye i saw a five foot eleven female figure running at me as if she had recieved millitary training, and in her left hand i saw something glistening. My memory served me well, as i recognised it as the knife that she had used to slice meat when she cooked. Guys if you saw how sharp that knife was, only then could you fathom the level of terror that i felt. I screamed:
"oh! My God she is on fire"
And i took off at a great speed, with her in chase. I managed to cut through some buildings and i could no longer see her behind me. I slowed down to a brisk walk, after about five minutes i heared the sound of Nike Air Max trainers hitting the asphalt and a familiar female voice shouting,
"sex is not free".
I recoiled in horror, because the spectre behind was wild eyed and crazed with her winter coat billowing in the wind, making her look like a stereotypical character from a black and white horror movie, ( if you have watched Nosferatu then you will understand,), i shouted
"i reject this in the name of Jesus" (i am not even religious).
I took off once more fearing for my life. As i ran, something breezed past my ear, as it hit the flor with a clang i realsed that it was the knife, one more inch to the left and it would have severed my left ear, as i ran into the night, the residents on the street, heared a male voice shout "yee pa", if they looked out of their windows they would have caught sight of a young man running, with a look on his face that was a cross betwen pain, fear, bewilderment and self pity as the a Nike Air Max sneaker hit the back of his head.
STORY2
"I love you". Said boorish with tears in his eyes.
"I love you too". Came her reply. Her harmonious voice changing tone with every one of boorish's deep pelvic thrusts.
"Making love to you is a dream come true." she panted, as their sweaty bodies intertwined and formed a union.
Emotions reached a cresendo as they both reached orgasm. "Stay with me forever." She screamed, drawing boorish close, and wrapping her long legs around him.
"Forever." "Forever." "Forever." "I love you." Screamed boorish as he ejaculated.
Following their intimate act, boorish led her downstairs, only to be confronted with his father and close family friend, Uncle G.
Boorish noticed a look of recognition in Uncle G's eyes and a certain air of discomfort around his lover.
"It can't be, I love her and i know that i am her first and only lover." Thought boorish as he led her out of his home.
"Is that your girl friend." Asked uncle G, as he let himself into boorish's room, only to be confronted with the sight of him holding the picture of his girlfriend to his heart.
"We promised each other that we will be in love forever." Said boorish as he closed his eyes, savoring the memory of the love making session they shared 30 minutes prior to the arrival of his uncle at his room.
"You young boys are stupid."
"Why uncle?"
"Is this a movie."
"Uncle?"
"Do you think that you are Cary Grant?"
"I dont understand."
"How will you understand?" Said his uncle stamping his left foot on he floor, and making the coral beads on his wrist rattle.
"You think because you are young that you get all the women, I get them because i spend money on them, and that your sugar, i saw you with................."
"No Uncle!" Screamed boorish, dreading the conclusion of his uncle's statement.
"Yes i have had her." Said his uncle as he walked out of the room.
The room seemed to spin as the 18 year old boorish collapsed in tears, throwing the picture of his girlfriend to the ground, shattering its glass frame into a hundred pieces.
A Great Road Trip
I just returned from a fantastic trip, my friend and i set out from Lagos on Tuesday morning and made our way towards Delta state. The journey was amazing the scenery was fantastic and i must say i was impressed with the state of the Interstate highway, till i got to Benin. At Benin we spent four hours practically rooted to a spot, due to the fact that the soil in that region is soft and is prone to erosion, and a large part of the highway had given way during the rainy season. We finally got past Benin and made our way towards Warri.
We went past Warri and finally got to our first port of call, which was the Abraka Turf Club (where we spent a couple of nights) , it is one of the most amazing resorts in Nigeria, it has amazing stabling facilities and two polo grounds (not quite an Obudu, but amazing in its own right). It is situated close to the Ethiope river (the water is so clear) and has amazing facilities, we went fishing, clay pigeon shooting, horseback riding, canoeing and drank copious amounts of alcohol. It was a fantastic time and i wish i could go back.
From Warri we made our way to a place called Ezebri in the Niger Delta, the reason for going there was that a fund raiser was being held and a friend of our was involved. We set out by boat and the journey took half an hour, what saddened me the most was the state of the place, they lack a jetty and we had to berth at this shaky wooden thing that looked like it would collapse any minute. The place clearly hasnt changed since the colonial times and they lack all nessesary facilities. It is so sad because this is where all the oil comes from. We passed the night at my friend's fathers home and set out for a place called Agbor.
We spent a couple of days at Agbor, generally lazing about and being and when we finally decided to look aroung the town we learned that their monarchy is documented as being almost a thousand years old, they can trace the names of all of their kings right till when the town was founded by settlers from Benin and Ekiti. After our time at Agbor we left for Lagos, and here i am ..........
Hope your time was as exciting as mine.......
We went past Warri and finally got to our first port of call, which was the Abraka Turf Club (where we spent a couple of nights) , it is one of the most amazing resorts in Nigeria, it has amazing stabling facilities and two polo grounds (not quite an Obudu, but amazing in its own right). It is situated close to the Ethiope river (the water is so clear) and has amazing facilities, we went fishing, clay pigeon shooting, horseback riding, canoeing and drank copious amounts of alcohol. It was a fantastic time and i wish i could go back.
From Warri we made our way to a place called Ezebri in the Niger Delta, the reason for going there was that a fund raiser was being held and a friend of our was involved. We set out by boat and the journey took half an hour, what saddened me the most was the state of the place, they lack a jetty and we had to berth at this shaky wooden thing that looked like it would collapse any minute. The place clearly hasnt changed since the colonial times and they lack all nessesary facilities. It is so sad because this is where all the oil comes from. We passed the night at my friend's fathers home and set out for a place called Agbor.
We spent a couple of days at Agbor, generally lazing about and being and when we finally decided to look aroung the town we learned that their monarchy is documented as being almost a thousand years old, they can trace the names of all of their kings right till when the town was founded by settlers from Benin and Ekiti. After our time at Agbor we left for Lagos, and here i am ..........
Hope your time was as exciting as mine.......
Monday, November 20, 2006
The Excesses Of Youth
I was just a typical red blooded male sowing my oats without a second thought as to the ramifications of my actions. None of you deserved to have your hearts broken, you didnt deserve the lies, the cheating and the indifference I exhibited. If I could go back I would do so many things differently, but unfortunately life affords us no such luxuries. I am so sorry and I pray you find it in your hearts to forgive me, I knew no better, Iwas young and insecure. I have spent so many days nights agonising over all the lies I told, all the tears that you shed and the hurt I caused, I am tired of hiding all this behind a smile, masking it all with this whole macho persona, no mattter what I do, this specter still looms above me and the dark shadow it casts will not pass. I have tried to make amends and apologised to the majority of you. I am happy that some of you have since moved on, but it doesnt take my feelings of remorse and regret away.
My heartfelt apologies go out to each and everyone of you, I wish I had done things differently.
I am so sorry.
My heartfelt apologies go out to each and everyone of you, I wish I had done things differently.
I am so sorry.
Discrimination (yuck).
The issue of inter-ethnic discrimination really gets under my skin, I know people that would not consider dating a person from a different ethnic group from theirs (sad isn't it?). The reason why it is such a sore point for me is that I am a product of an inter-ethnic union. In fact, my entire family history is peppered with a great number of such marriages. My father’s family originated from Ado-Ekiti in Ekiti State, they migrated to Benin and to Delta state and they picked up wives and married off daughters along the way. Hence, there are people that bear my surname in Ekiti, Benin and our present hometown. My paternal grand parents migrated to Lagos in 1914 and had every one of their children here and this is our present home. Every one of their children bar one is in an inter-ethnic union.
My Maternal grand father is part West-Indian and part Itshekiri, my mothers family is even more interesting, her family is originally from Offa in Kwara, her grand father moved to what was then German Togoville (Togo), married there and sent all of his children to Lagos for a missionary education, and this is where my grand mum met her husband. I speak Togolese, Yoruba and Ika. By virtue of my family history I feel I am the personification of a true Nigerian, as far as I am concerned if any person insults or stereotypes any person from any ethnic group, they insult me. On both sides of my family I have Igbo, Yoruba, Edo, Efik, Togolese and Delta cousins, we need to realize that we are people first, before we are Yoruba, Hausa, and Fulani e.t.c
My Maternal grand father is part West-Indian and part Itshekiri, my mothers family is even more interesting, her family is originally from Offa in Kwara, her grand father moved to what was then German Togoville (Togo), married there and sent all of his children to Lagos for a missionary education, and this is where my grand mum met her husband. I speak Togolese, Yoruba and Ika. By virtue of my family history I feel I am the personification of a true Nigerian, as far as I am concerned if any person insults or stereotypes any person from any ethnic group, they insult me. On both sides of my family I have Igbo, Yoruba, Edo, Efik, Togolese and Delta cousins, we need to realize that we are people first, before we are Yoruba, Hausa, and Fulani e.t.c
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A Delicate Balance
Why do you put up a front? Why is it that you lie to others and even yourself? Why is it that you seek fufillment and self worth in material wealth, social status and mercenary mistresses? As much as you try to hide it, your insecurity is showing. Prior to being cool, before the aquisition of wealth and all its trappings. You were a person, a human being that found joy in the simple things in life. You were aware of the great vibrancy and spirit of this world, but you chose to disconect yourself from it and seek solace in what may never guarantee lasting joy. Weep not my friend for it is never to late to make a new begining, a frozen heart can be awakened and a human being long repressed can be set free.
There is a delicate balance in nature. There is joy and there is sorrow. There is peacetime and there is conflict. You must understand that we are all on a journey, sailing along without knowing where we may berth along the way. We may bask in the sunlight one minute and be dashed on the rocks the next. Inspite of its uncertainties, life is beautiful, accept the bad and embrace the good, learn from your mistakes and always seek to improve. Happiness is not a luxury, it is God given right, yours and mine.
Life is what you make it, please be happy..........
There is a delicate balance in nature. There is joy and there is sorrow. There is peacetime and there is conflict. You must understand that we are all on a journey, sailing along without knowing where we may berth along the way. We may bask in the sunlight one minute and be dashed on the rocks the next. Inspite of its uncertainties, life is beautiful, accept the bad and embrace the good, learn from your mistakes and always seek to improve. Happiness is not a luxury, it is God given right, yours and mine.
Life is what you make it, please be happy..........
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Reminiscing On a Love That Never Was.
I remember meeting her, at the university Law Library. I had noticed her during lectures and instantly I felt a connection. I approached her and said "go home and get dressed", because we were going out for a candle light dinner. She looked at me, smiled and told me to pick her up at nine '0' clock. Pick her up I did and we proceeded to my favorite Italian restaurant. The conversation flowed effortlessly as we sipped on red wine, in those special moments nothing else mattered and no one existed except the both of us. So beautiful was she that the waitresses called the chef to our table to look at her, so taken aback was he that he serenaded her and congratulated me on having such good taste. We shared our dessert (a bowl of profiteroles) and proceeded to a casino to play roulette for the rest of the night.
It was a beautiful date and a wonderful begining to what proved to be what a telling romance. What went wrong? Why did it not work out? So many questions left unanswered by the way things ended. Was it a clash of egos? Was it a tragic case of bad timing? Does she remember me fondly? Did she realise the extent to which I grew to care? I have accepted that we were never meant to be, and i am gratefull for the experience of a true heartfelt romance. I know i would have loved you, and from what your people told me you cared too, but you were too scarred by your last experience to fall headlong into another relationship. I guess my track record wasn't exactly encouraging either, here is to you where ever you are, it has been five years since and I have nothing but fond memories of you.
I remember us going to see THE BOOR by Anton Chekov and how you laughed and hit me when Mrs. Popov uttered the famous words: "I said you were a boor, a monster!" I will never forget your smile and the smooth contours of your neck when you threw your head back in fits of laughter. You made me happy, and I thank you for the experience.
P.S: I am not quite as boorish as i once was ;-)
It was a beautiful date and a wonderful begining to what proved to be what a telling romance. What went wrong? Why did it not work out? So many questions left unanswered by the way things ended. Was it a clash of egos? Was it a tragic case of bad timing? Does she remember me fondly? Did she realise the extent to which I grew to care? I have accepted that we were never meant to be, and i am gratefull for the experience of a true heartfelt romance. I know i would have loved you, and from what your people told me you cared too, but you were too scarred by your last experience to fall headlong into another relationship. I guess my track record wasn't exactly encouraging either, here is to you where ever you are, it has been five years since and I have nothing but fond memories of you.
I remember us going to see THE BOOR by Anton Chekov and how you laughed and hit me when Mrs. Popov uttered the famous words: "I said you were a boor, a monster!" I will never forget your smile and the smooth contours of your neck when you threw your head back in fits of laughter. You made me happy, and I thank you for the experience.
P.S: I am not quite as boorish as i once was ;-)
Jagua Nana
One of my favorite novels is Cyprian Ekwensi's Jagua Nana (1961). Reading the novel brought home the fact that life in Lagos truly has not changed a great deal from the time that the book was written. It is a gritty , sexual, violent and at times painful portrayal of city life in a society where money and status are the defining factors. So popular was the book in the sixties that a film adaptation was planned by an italian film company, but the Nigerian parliament put paid the that idea due to the fact that they felt that it might portray Nigerian life in a not too flattering light. It is a truly great book and i recomment it to all you readers out there.
Happy reading.
Happy reading.
A Blogging Virgin Pops His Cherry
Cherchez La Femme:
The literal translation from the French is "look for the woman". It is used when a man behaves unusually or gets into a quarrel or other difficulty and the reason for it is sought. The suggestion, "look for the woman", express the idea that behind the problem there is a woman. That isn't to say that the woman herself was necessarily the direct cause of the problem, for instance as in Shakespeare's Macbeth, but possibly that the man behaved stupidly or out of character in order to impress or gain favour.
In the past my love/sex life has been rather eventful, however as the big 30 approaches, I have slowed down considerably and have come to accept that my playa days are over. LatelyI have found myself wondering if i have totally missed the boat. I grew up with a tight knit group of friends and the good majority of them will be married next summer, they all met their fiancees whilst at university. Looking back, i realise that i let a few good ones go, these days casual encounters have totally lost their appeal, might sound strange but I really want to find the one, hence my decision not to indulge unless there is potential for something meaningful.
"Cherchez La Femme".
I want to have a decent marriage, nice wifey, honesty, no cheating and two great kids. Will it happen? I sure do hope so.
Enough about my love life, (or lack of one). I've been back in Nigeria for a year and a it still surprises me how much things changed in the eleven years i was away. There is so much to do socially, great bars, great restaurants (will touch on this in a bit) cinemas and the level of exposure is far greater than i ever imagined. What can i say? We are being dragged into the 21st century........
WHERE ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?
I was at Pearl Garden (some chinese restaurant), last Saturday aside from my sisters and myself there were no other black people in the place. It was somewhat disconcerting feeling like a minority in my own country, the expatriate community is increasing, and so are the property prices in the choice parts of Lagos, i evisage a time in the not too distant future where the prices in Ikoyi and VI will be so high that these areas will be the exclusive preserve of the expat community. At present it is not unheared of for properties to cost in excess of $90,000 per annum to rent. A little food for thought.
The literal translation from the French is "look for the woman". It is used when a man behaves unusually or gets into a quarrel or other difficulty and the reason for it is sought. The suggestion, "look for the woman", express the idea that behind the problem there is a woman. That isn't to say that the woman herself was necessarily the direct cause of the problem, for instance as in Shakespeare's Macbeth, but possibly that the man behaved stupidly or out of character in order to impress or gain favour.
In the past my love/sex life has been rather eventful, however as the big 30 approaches, I have slowed down considerably and have come to accept that my playa days are over. LatelyI have found myself wondering if i have totally missed the boat. I grew up with a tight knit group of friends and the good majority of them will be married next summer, they all met their fiancees whilst at university. Looking back, i realise that i let a few good ones go, these days casual encounters have totally lost their appeal, might sound strange but I really want to find the one, hence my decision not to indulge unless there is potential for something meaningful.
"Cherchez La Femme".
I want to have a decent marriage, nice wifey, honesty, no cheating and two great kids. Will it happen? I sure do hope so.
Enough about my love life, (or lack of one). I've been back in Nigeria for a year and a it still surprises me how much things changed in the eleven years i was away. There is so much to do socially, great bars, great restaurants (will touch on this in a bit) cinemas and the level of exposure is far greater than i ever imagined. What can i say? We are being dragged into the 21st century........
WHERE ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?
I was at Pearl Garden (some chinese restaurant), last Saturday aside from my sisters and myself there were no other black people in the place. It was somewhat disconcerting feeling like a minority in my own country, the expatriate community is increasing, and so are the property prices in the choice parts of Lagos, i evisage a time in the not too distant future where the prices in Ikoyi and VI will be so high that these areas will be the exclusive preserve of the expat community. At present it is not unheared of for properties to cost in excess of $90,000 per annum to rent. A little food for thought.
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