The Excesses Of Youth

I was just a typical red blooded male sowing my oats without a second thought as to the ramifications of my actions. None of you deserved to have your hearts broken, you didnt deserve the lies, the cheating and the indifference I exhibited. If I could go back I would do so many things differently, but unfortunately life affords us no such luxuries. I am so sorry and I pray you find it in your hearts to forgive me, I knew no better, Iwas young and insecure. I have spent so many days nights agonising over all the lies I told, all the tears that you shed and the hurt I caused, I am tired of hiding all this behind a smile, masking it all with this whole macho persona, no mattter what I do, this specter still looms above me and the dark shadow it casts will not pass. I have tried to make amends and apologised to the majority of you. I am happy that some of you have since moved on, but it doesnt take my feelings of remorse and regret away.


My heartfelt apologies go out to each and everyone of you, I wish I had done things differently.

I am so sorry.

Discrimination (yuck).

The issue of inter-ethnic discrimination really gets under my skin, I know people that would not consider dating a person from a different ethnic group from theirs (sad isn't it?). The reason why it is such a sore point for me is that I am a product of an inter-ethnic union. In fact, my entire family history is peppered with a great number of such marriages. My father’s family originated from Ado-Ekiti in Ekiti State, they migrated to Benin and to Delta state and they picked up wives and married off daughters along the way. Hence, there are people that bear my surname in Ekiti, Benin and our present hometown. My paternal grand parents migrated to Lagos in 1914 and had every one of their children here and this is our present home. Every one of their children bar one is in an inter-ethnic union.

My Maternal grand father is part West-Indian and part Itshekiri, my mothers family is even more interesting, her family is originally from Offa in Kwara, her grand father moved to what was then German Togoville (Togo), married there and sent all of his children to Lagos for a missionary education, and this is where my grand mum met her husband. I speak Togolese, Yoruba and Ika. By virtue of my family history I feel I am the personification of a true Nigerian, as far as I am concerned if any person insults or stereotypes any person from any ethnic group, they insult me. On both sides of my family I have Igbo, Yoruba, Edo, Efik, Togolese and Delta cousins, we need to realize that we are people first, before we are Yoruba, Hausa, and Fulani e.t.c

A Delicate Balance

Why do you put up a front? Why is it that you lie to others and even yourself? Why is it that you seek fufillment and self worth in material wealth, social status and mercenary mistresses? As much as you try to hide it, your insecurity is showing. Prior to being cool, before the aquisition of wealth and all its trappings. You were a person, a human being that found joy in the simple things in life. You were aware of the great vibrancy and spirit of this world, but you chose to disconect yourself from it and seek solace in what may never guarantee lasting joy. Weep not my friend for it is never to late to make a new begining, a frozen heart can be awakened and a human being long repressed can be set free.

There is a delicate balance in nature. There is joy and there is sorrow. There is peacetime and there is conflict. You must understand that we are all on a journey, sailing along without knowing where we may berth along the way. We may bask in the sunlight one minute and be dashed on the rocks the next. Inspite of its uncertainties, life is beautiful, accept the bad and embrace the good, learn from your mistakes and always seek to improve. Happiness is not a luxury, it is God given right, yours and mine.

Life is what you make it, please be happy..........

Reminiscing On a Love That Never Was.

I remember meeting her, at the university Law Library. I had noticed her during lectures and instantly I felt a connection. I approached her and said "go home and get dressed", because we were going out for a candle light dinner. She looked at me, smiled and told me to pick her up at nine '0' clock. Pick her up I did and we proceeded to my favorite Italian restaurant. The conversation flowed effortlessly as we sipped on red wine, in those special moments nothing else mattered and no one existed except the both of us. So beautiful was she that the waitresses called the chef to our table to look at her, so taken aback was he that he serenaded her and congratulated me on having such good taste. We shared our dessert (a bowl of profiteroles) and proceeded to a casino to play roulette for the rest of the night.

It was a beautiful date and a wonderful begining to what proved to be what a telling romance. What went wrong? Why did it not work out? So many questions left unanswered by the way things ended. Was it a clash of egos? Was it a tragic case of bad timing? Does she remember me fondly? Did she realise the extent to which I grew to care? I have accepted that we were never meant to be, and i am gratefull for the experience of a true heartfelt romance. I know i would have loved you, and from what your people told me you cared too, but you were too scarred by your last experience to fall headlong into another relationship. I guess my track record wasn't exactly encouraging either, here is to you where ever you are, it has been five years since and I have nothing but fond memories of you.

I remember us going to see THE BOOR by Anton Chekov and how you laughed and hit me when Mrs. Popov uttered the famous words: "I said you were a boor, a monster!" I will never forget your smile and the smooth contours of your neck when you threw your head back in fits of laughter. You made me happy, and I thank you for the experience.

P.S: I am not quite as boorish as i once was ;-)

Jagua Nana

One of my favorite novels is Cyprian Ekwensi's Jagua Nana (1961). Reading the novel brought home the fact that life in Lagos truly has not changed a great deal from the time that the book was written. It is a gritty , sexual, violent and at times painful portrayal of city life in a society where money and status are the defining factors. So popular was the book in the sixties that a film adaptation was planned by an italian film company, but the Nigerian parliament put paid the that idea due to the fact that they felt that it might portray Nigerian life in a not too flattering light. It is a truly great book and i recomment it to all you readers out there.
Happy reading.

A Blogging Virgin Pops His Cherry

Cherchez La Femme:
The literal translation from the French is "look for the woman". It is used when a man behaves unusually or gets into a quarrel or other difficulty and the reason for it is sought. The suggestion, "look for the woman", express the idea that behind the problem there is a woman. That isn't to say that the woman herself was necessarily the direct cause of the problem, for instance as in Shakespeare's Macbeth, but possibly that the man behaved stupidly or out of character in order to impress or gain favour.


In the past my love/sex life has been rather eventful, however as the big 30 approaches, I have slowed down considerably and have come to accept that my playa days are over. LatelyI have found myself wondering if i have totally missed the boat. I grew up with a tight knit group of friends and the good majority of them will be married next summer, they all met their fiancees whilst at university. Looking back, i realise that i let a few good ones go, these days casual encounters have totally lost their appeal, might sound strange but I really want to find the one, hence my decision not to indulge unless there is potential for something meaningful.

"Cherchez La Femme".

I want to have a decent marriage, nice wifey, honesty, no cheating and two great kids. Will it happen? I sure do hope so.

Enough about my love life, (or lack of one). I've been back in Nigeria for a year and a it still surprises me how much things changed in the eleven years i was away. There is so much to do socially, great bars, great restaurants (will touch on this in a bit) cinemas and the level of exposure is far greater than i ever imagined. What can i say? We are being dragged into the 21st century........

WHERE ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?

I was at Pearl Garden (some chinese restaurant), last Saturday aside from my sisters and myself there were no other black people in the place. It was somewhat disconcerting feeling like a minority in my own country, the expatriate community is increasing, and so are the property prices in the choice parts of Lagos, i evisage a time in the not too distant future where the prices in Ikoyi and VI will be so high that these areas will be the exclusive preserve of the expat community. At present it is not unheared of for properties to cost in excess of $90,000 per annum to rent. A little food for thought.