Sex and the Single Bloke Part 9 (Never Make Her Past an Issue)

I strongly believe that everyone deserves a second chance, the past is gone, it matters not what she has done, all that matters is what she does from the moment you choose to be together. Everyone deserves their privacy, but when it matters, honesty is of utmost importance. Neither he nor she should make the past an issue, before I tell you my story, let me tell you about Hassan. I once had a friend and flat mate (lets call him Hassan), who got involved with a girl that claimed to be a virgin (lets call her Virginia). Hassan and Virginia were the couple of the year, our very own budget Posh and Becks, in the summer they were seen feeding each other ice lollies. At the karaoke club they did irreparable damage to our eardrums whilst warbling Celine Dion hits whilst looking into each other’s eyes. One day Hassan came to my room with tears in his eyes.

“What gives?” I asked with a worried look on my face.

“I am so honoured”, he said. “Virginia has chosen me to be her first”

“I must make it special for her”

“I love her”


Hassanwas a good guy, but ever so naïve, we went out and bought scented candles, massage oil, astroglide (lube) and must surprising of all violin strings.

‘Violin strings?’ I thought to myself. ‘Freaky buggers’.


Later on that evening, Virginia came around and I went off to see a movie.


“Let them have their privacy” I thought to myself


I finished at the cinema, arrived home and to my great surprise Hassan had not drawn his curtains, and there he was playing his bloody violin, with his eyes closed and Virginia was sitting there with a bemused look on her face.

“What a bloody idiot”, I said to myself as I made my way to my local pub.

I sat down, ordered a pint of Hoegaardenand a packet of crisps. I knew I was in for a long night, so I made myself comfortable and prepared myself for consuming copious amounts of booze. A couple of hours later I heard the fishwife pub landlady screech:


“Last call for alcohol”


I passed on a further drink, as I was rather pickled after downing five pints of beer. I made my way home and much to my pleasure Hassan's curtains were drawn. I got home and made my way towards my room, and to my surprise I saw Hassan and Virginia (fully clothed) slow dancing to ‘Tonight I celebrate my love for you’, by Roberta Flack and Peebo Bryson. By this point in time I’d had enough of their stupidity, I went to my room and fell asleep.

I was suddenly awakened by a loud scream, and the entire flat was shaking and shuddering.

I ran out of my room (I sleep in the buff, and had only managed to grab my boxer shorts). As I got to the living room it occurred to me that the noises were coming from Hassan’s room. I listened closely, and much to my horror above the banging and crashing and spanking noises was Virginia’s voice:



“Screw you Hassan”

“Ride me like a pony”

“Ooh Hassan”

“Use me”

“Spank me you dirty bugger”

“I’m your bitch”

“You are the best”


“Best?” I thought to myself. “Shouldn’t she say first?”


It occurred to me that my plonker of a friend was dating a chick with a great deal more experience than he had. The next day I saw Hassan cooking scrambled eggs and singing to himself.

“Boorish did you hear us last night? “I am so lucky, for a virgin she was so damn fiery, she almost killed me”.


“Virgin?” I laughed to myself. “More like fucked”

Hassan eventually found out that Virginia had her fair share of lovers, and her lies ruined what could have been a wonderful relationship. So what if she had been around the block a few times? Why is sex such an issue? Why was she so bothered about her past that she chose to deceive the man? He would have accepted her if she hadn’t lied.

Here is my experience:

I always say forgive the past and look towards the future. I am a grown man, and I owe no one any explanations for my choices, my beliefs were tested when I had a slight disagreement with a dude and he said to me:

"I f..ked your girl the day after I met her"

I was far from happy with what happened, and a part of me wished to resent her for bringing me such embarrassment (it took place at a public gathering). However I rationalized it this way; it was not her intention to embarrass me, in fact she didn’t know me when she had the one night stand with the fool. I rose above the childishness exhibited by the man (I was six years younger than he was) and calmly walked away. I developed a great deal of respect for my girl that night because she had already told me about the guy, she was honest and that was all that mattered to me. I went to the pub to clear my head, I had a few stiff drinks, made my decision and went over to her place that night. As soon as she opened the door, I gave her a bear hug, pulled her into her room and shagged her rotten. The next time we both went out, I put my arm around her waist and held her close as we walked into the gathering. I showed them all that I will always stand by my decisions, I cared about her in spite of her failings. She was honest about her past I had no choice but to respect that.

I never told her what the man said to me........................

I understand that not every man shares my views, and there are men out there that are involved with women that they do care for, they are having a hard time dealing with her past. If you cannot handle it, let her down easily and walk away. It will be most unfair of you to keep reminding her of her 'mistakes' (to me, there are no mistakes, only research)



The past is immaterial, don’t make it an issue.