An Old Flame

"Opening the door to something new, the unknown. Facing possibilities."

She was a black, French Erasmus student at my university, I saw her at a club, we shared glances and unconsciously we both knew that we were attracted to each other. I bought her a drink and we sat and spoke for what seemed like a short time, but in reality the conversation lasted a couple of hours. i loved the way she would only keep eye contact with me for a couple of seconds before looking away. I loved the way she would play with her hair, touch my knee and smile. We exchanged numbers and agreed to hook up later on in the week.

The following night, my slumber was interrupted by my bongo playing housemates who were tripping on magic mushrooms at the time. As i was uninterested in joining the festivities i went out for a brief stroll. As I returned home I saw her knocking on my window. She looked absolutely beautiful, no make up, simply dressed in a little black leather jacket, a white tight t shirt, blue jeans, black boots and a blue denim cap. We smiled, looked at each other and both knew what we wanted. There wasn't much to say at that point in time so I grabbed her by her waist, pulled her close and we shared the most passionate kiss.

We kissed for a good five minutes, hardly touching tongues, just planing light soft kisses on each other's necks, ears, lips and foreheads. The passion we shared was enough to tell me that this was not just another random roll in the hay, but something to savour and make the most of. I invited her into my flat, walked past my housemates with pride. Believe me there is nothing as sensual, sexually alluring and beautiful as a confident black woman, we didn't give them a second glance as we were totally engrossed in each other.

I sat her down, took a brief shower and came out in my towel, she sat up on the bed and i knelt in front of her. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me close. She worked her way from my forehead, kissing me lightly on my eyebrows, cheeks and lips.

"You are beautiful" she whispered in my ear.

She took off her shirt and brassiere and moaned as our bare bodies touched and we both laid down on the bed. We explored every inch of our bodies with our lips tongues and hands for at least half an hour, before the act began. We did it slowly, it was totally free of stress, just two bodies yearning for each other, two people, adoring how they were created. I was on top of her, slowly making love to her as we kissed, held each other tightly and she slowly ran her hands over my back and dug her nails into me intermittently. We rolled over and she was on top of me, taking control, and doing what she had to, so as to maximise her pleasure, she moaned and got more passionate as she swung her head in circular motions. the light from my lamp created what I call the "Medusa" effect. (The shadows cast by the motions of her swinging her hair made her braids appear like a couple of hundred snakes on the white walls of my room.

The fact that she appeared to gain so much pleasure from the act, aroused me more and more. Passions built up to a crescendo and we both came as she collapsed onto me making incoherent noises.............

Our dalliance lasted a couple of months, before she returned to her home country, i wonder how she is now..........

Introspection

Inspired by Tminx's post on self analysis, I took a long hard look at myself and tried to identify personality traits that might need a little tweaking. In my view, it displays a distinct lack of character not to strive to be a better person and tell the world to "accept me as I am".

There are a few things about myself that I ought to work on:

What can I say? I am very much a 'work in progress'.

With These Tears I Let You go......... I am Finally Free

Five and a half years of my life I spent with you, my dearest L, you are a double edged sword my greatest blessing and my greatest curse. You were the light of my life, you gave me faith in humanity, you never lied, you made me appreciate the value of honesty, and thanks to you I will never compromise.

Many have come since, but they have all paled in comparison to you, but now I realise that I never truly let you go. L, you have always been this specter, looming in the background haunting me, never letting me rest. If I am to find happiness I must let you go, if I am to make progress I cannot hold on to the memories of what we shared. I have decided to move on, cast my lot and take a chance, I am no longer cynical about love, I believe that I will find her and when I do I will shower her with all the affection that I failed to show you.

You made me whole, when I met you i was broken, but the love and care you showed me healed me, nursed me to full health, and by vvirture of your nurturing I began living again. You were my mother, my sister, my lover and most importantly my best friend. I must say goodbye to you tonight and begin a new chapter in my life. As these tears fall I exorcise myself of you, I cut myself with the blade of contrition, and I promise to love wholeheartedly and I promise never to lie again.

Goodbye L...............
Thanks for the memories. (RIP)

A VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY

A VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY

Come with me, and embark on a voyage,

Tis is not too late to make a new begining

Set sail on a journey into uncharted waters.

We know not our destination,

Neither have we mapped our voyage.

No odds are insurmountable.

No storms shall set us off course,

No sirens shall tempt me,

For the sweet melodies they shall sing

Shall be rendered powerless

By the spell you have cast over me.

Borish male 2007 tm

And She Called

This evening i recieved a call from a past girlfriend of mine, she recognised my writing style and read an earlier post of mine (http://boorishmale.blogspot.com/2006/12/and-then-they-were-gone_04.html) She was wailing incoherrently, crying and apologizing for hurting my feelings. She gave an excuse, left work and called me. She would not accept that i harbour no ill feelings towards her and I wish her nothing but the best, she told me that she has not experienced happiness since we broke up and has not had a succesful relationship since . Why? Why saddle me with this? Why riddle me with emotions of guilt?

I am no longer interested in her, but I do care about her well being. If it meant a thing to her, why did she let it go? I asked her these questions and and she screamed louder and said a lot horrible things about herself. I've not been myself since.

My dearest friend, I love you but not the the way you wish, I am in a space where I am open, open to find someone that truly gives me joy, someone to share my good and bad times with. The fates have dictated that we are not to be, I implore you to move on, I plead with you to seek help, save yourself from this life of misery and get on with your life.............. Because I have.

I have decided to to reveal myself to a certain person out there, T Minx if i contact you, will you keep my identity secret, will you give me audience without prejudice? Will you be willing to accomodate a friend? (even one as boorish as myself)............

Tminx would you believe me if told you that I find your eyes haunting, I find them limpid and serene, I could lose myself in them. The day I met you, your choice of makeup was flawless and complimented your skintone, and that smile. You seemed to harbour this ethereal quality that made you appear above all things petty, it was almost regal. Do i commit bloging harakiri and reveal who i am to you?

I MET HER ONLY ONCE BEFORE

AND SHE INSPIRED THIS

EARTH ANGEL

I believe there are angels on earth

Blessed by the almighty, a miraculous birth

I remember her, She was ethereal, mystical, seductive, yet demure

How best may I describe her? But as an angel unspoilt and pure.

Was it her captivating eyes, the million dollar smile, the smooth skin and …..the oh so sexy bow legs . i don't know, but one thing is for certain, I will see her again.........