Something for the fellas

Hey there, how are we doing? It sure has been a while. As usual I've been keeping busy, and trying to seek clarity in this cold harsh world of ours. I try to love all of Gods creations, but I must warn you all to keep far away from the creature that threatens civilisation as we know it this evil being is known as

THE BITTER WOMAN.....

OK sweetheart, I understand that it could not have been easy growing up being so ugly in a world where beauty is so coveted. Take heart, just because your pockmarked face looks like someone danced the Charleston on it, whilst wearing a pair of golf cleats doesn't mean you have to share the pain. I know it isn't easy being ugly, you cannot help the fact that you look like a cross between sasquatch , Star Jones and Amy Winehouse on a bad hair day. does not mean that you have to be at odds with all that is fair and beautiful in this world. I am sure that underneath that unfortunate exterior lies a good heart.........

Let the bitterness go.

So what if you are unlucky in love, you wonder why you cant keep a man, you ask yourself why your friends are all married and you are stuck dealing with men that screw you, and can't wait to be far away from you not too long after the act.

According to you:

"Men are bastards"

"I don't need a man, my vibrator never fails"

"Life must be easier being gay"



Have you stopped for a minute to wonder if the problem might not be the guys? If you have failed in all attempts at relationships, do you not think that there is something wrong with you?

OK babe, when one really thinks about it, considering the standard of men today, maybe your vibrator would work best.





Don't be offended ladies, I was just kidding.........

Hey fellas, I have to ask you something. What is your obsession with thongs. I do not find them sexy at all. What is so mind blowing about the sight of that strip of gabardine (maybe even denim, khaki or nylon) riding up the crack of her shitter? When I see a thong I think wobbly squidgy butt cheeks, cellulite infested, stretch marked skin. I think skid marks, dangleberries or even worse dingleberries.

Think about it fellas........

It aint pretty.


Just some mindless rambling.................


Will be back properly soon.

Sex and The Single Bloke (On Doublethink)

"Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them". - George Orwell.

The devil himself Niccolo Machiavelli once postulated that one should never enter an aliance with another more powerful than ones self. Very deep words i must say, whilst he was speaking of realpolitik I have put a spin on things and have chosen to speak of relationships (what else is new ;-).

Imagine being in a relationship with a person so much smarter than yourself, a person that read you easily from day one. A person that immediately recognised your needs, influences and biases; and then manipulated them to his or her benefit. Human beings are impressionable and deeply insecure. It is the simplest thing to influence another to hang on your every word and throw aside all logic and common sense inspite of the truth that is staring them in their face.

She loves him and would do all in her power to keep him, he is well aware of this and knows that he is all that she lives for, rather than be inspired by her devotion he becomes complacent and seeks out more exciting possibillities. He cheats openly and constantly, he plays on her emotions, makes her cry at will, does subtle things to make her jealous, keeps her mind occupied, hurts her intentionally and when she is on the verge of finally asserting herself he overwhelms her with kindness, romance and a few furious shagging sessions. Control and manipulation are the tools of is trade. She is aware that he is wrong for her, but still believes that he is her knight in shining armour. Why is this happening? She is doublethinking...............

Some might say that he is being smart, others might call him a bastard, but i contend that such people should be pitied. The way a person treats another is a reflection of the battles raging within them; ergo it is a deep insecurity that drives such a person to try to exert such control over another, and likewise insecurity makes another so impressionable as to be controlled. I have been in situations where i have been guilty of double think (i guess we all have), I too have fallen victim to manipulative women (albeit not for very long...) I have been guilty of manipulating others as well. I am truly happy that I no longer do such, however i have become rather guarded as a result of what i have done and what i have observed.

Ignorance is Bliss

I have become very observant and somewhat suspicious of ther peoples motives, due to my rather calculating nature I analyse every possible outcome before I make any move, it has it's good (i am not usually prone to being manipulated into doublethinking), ergo I prevent myself from ever truly riding the crest of a wave and letting myself go.................

Therein lies the rub.

Is anyone ever truly on your side? Or are they merely being self serving? Is it better to be a fool in love or a wise person that's lonely? She loves me, but what are her motives? Can this be love?

Maybe my efforts at not being weak or vulnerable might cost me a great deal of happiness in my life. Maybe we all need to be foolish to be in love and happy.........................

Maybe I am just as guilty of doublethink as others.





Hope your holiday was as great as mine...........

I have entered a new chapter in my life, I have come full circle and I'm back to being the gregarious boorish that is loved by many. will have to tell you about this soon.

Infinite Possibillities.

I remember the night it dawned on me.........

It was the night before I moved back to Nigeria, my friends and I went out for a few drinks and reminisced on the last twelve years. Over the years, there were a lot of firsts and experiences, we changed from being Lagos boys in the UK to being English boys with Nigerian roots. It dawned on me that I had done everything that I dreamed of as a young boy (except one thing). I came to the sad realisation that nothing was fresh, nothing was new, nothing was exciting and the joy of life was lacking was lacking.

Due to my over indulgence, women lost their mystique, the parties and the carousing lost their appeal. I slowly withdrew into myself (to a great extent I still have), and spent hours analysing myself and trying to find a new avenue to the freedom to revel in the "joie de vivre". I pondered, I worried and I longed for what I had lost, then suddenly I realised that life is in stages, I experienced what a lot of men are only just being exposed to. I feel like the Pedlar of Swaffham, my destiny is right here before me, I look forward to realising it.

There always will be infinite possibillities in life, I have rediscovered the "joie de vivre. I am totally comfortable in my own skin, no airs, no graces, no insecurities.

Damn!!!!!! It is good to be me

I am where I am, to get where I should be.

And so are you.

Sex and The Single Bloke Part 16 (The Hierarchy of Race)

LADIES........

Like it or lump it, the truth is that there exists a hierarchy amongst the races of this world. We are all aware of the economic benefits of being of a certain race, however in relationships such a hierarchy exists. Whist at university, the majority of the Nigerian women would bend over backwards to have a european on their arm, they would spend hours comparing notes on what their experiences were and would make plans on how to add more to their lists. They would debase, degrade, and display a level of desperation that shocked even me (and this is me, that has been exposed to a fair amount of strange human behaviour).

I was in the refectory once, and a Nigerian girl rushed in, hurried over to her friends and said:

"GIRLS LETS MOVE, THE GREEK GUYS ARE AT THE PEN & WIG PUB"!!!

The girls rushed into the loo, put their faces on and were seen at the pub chasing after these men, and leaving with groups of them at the end of the evening. Hey! i am all for freedom and expressing ones self as one pleases, but these same girls began treating the Nigerian guys with disdain.

The next day my Greek friend said to me:

"I WILL NEVER F**K A NIGERIAN GIRL AGAIN,

THEY HAVE BIG GAPING P****Y".

I remember seeing a video of three Nigerian girls getting gang banged by a room full of onyibo boys, yet these girls would front and make any Nigerian guy that approached them sweat and prove himself to her before even listening to him.

Case 2:

Whist at boarding school there was a girl, with an extermely large posterior. Man, that girl had booty like I had never seen! She was the German boys party favour (she shagged them all)and made no bones about it. She didn't have a problem with them smacking her on the butt in full view of everyone, she was proud to have them treat her in that was. However when a Nigerian guy that happened to like her a lot attempted to hold her hand, she cussed him out. Much to the amusement of her German boys (they were nice guys and were constantly telling us about how much of a freak that she was.). Once we were in a club and one of the German lads pulled her over to us in disgust and told her off for being racist. Why? Simply because she told him that she would never touch a black man. He washed her down, stormed off and this woman had the audacity to look at us from head to toe, hiss, and stroll off to beg her man for forgiveness.

I would love to get a Nigerian woman's view on this matter, in my view there is only one race and that is the human race, I believe that we all should respect and one another as EQUALS, the hierarchy exists only in our minds, be free and just live.

The partner you are with is not a crutch (pardon the pun) or a status symbol.....................

Just a person.

My Succubus

In my chamber she was welcome as she had been before
Her form was enchanting, like the creature of ancient lore
Her touch emboldeth me, to my depth, to my core
Alas, she departed, she is my Succubus, no more.

Sex and The Single Bloke part 15 (The Paradox of Humillity)

Is humility a virtue or a vice? I often wonder, is it in human nature to be humble or does circumstance conspire to humble us. Jesus was humble, the Prophet Mohamed was humble and boorish is humble.........................................

Can Boorish truly be humble if he places himself in such exalted company? My point exactly! This so called character trait is nothing but a paradox. I shall speak of this in the context of relationships.

Case in Point:

Boy grows up in ghetto, and has struggled from day one. He meets a girl and who has lived in the lap of luxury all her life. They fall in love and decide to get married, girl's father refuses to give his blessing to the union and holds it up for four years. He eventually relents and reluctantly allows the poor man to marry his daughter. Dude is introduced to a life of luxury, and quickly becomes accustomed to it. His father-in law never misses an opportunity to put him back in his place and he is often on the receiving end of barbs and jibes from his wife's side of the family. In their presence he displays nothing but utter humility and is grateful to his condescending father in law for changing his life.

Boy meets Boorish and regales him with tales of his good life, his car, his flat and how well he has done. Unbeknown to him; boorish has a huge network of friends and is aware the man's true. Should my friend the kept man not be humbled by his beginnings and his pitiable current situation? For some reason best known to him, the mere fact that he is slipping it to a rich man's daughter has given him the right to be arrogant. Sex must be an overwhelmingly powerful force; because it has made boy believe that he is ''rich by association" (or maybe I should say ''Rich by Copulation''). This guy might one day find himself ''humbled'' by Boorish's sharp tongue if he doesn't ''humble'' quit playing the big man.

Case 2:

I once was involved with a woman or should I say girl at university, we were broke students and she was even broker than I was. We were very different, I was this kid that left Nigeria and was transported to a British boarding school and from there set out to university, and she was transferred to the UK after five or six years at university in Nigeria only to start again from her first year. We were happy or so I thought, the boor was totally unaware that his girl was a social climber and judged him based on his broke student status.

Boorish a far far from perfect boyfriend, but they always worked their problems out or so he thought. She eventually graduated and moved elsewhere to study for her post graduate degree. Whilst at this new place she made friends with a few public school girls whose fathers were very wealthy (Nigerian military men in the corridors of power) and they made a show of their wealth. They never got involved with black men (I see nothing wrong with that if it floats their boat), and would do anything in their power to get a check from the onyibo dudes (to be honest their behaviour was quite embarrassing).

She conviently forgot that her friends orientation was not too different from mine, however, due to the fact that I didn't make a show of things, she felt that she was ''better by association''. She developed a deep desire for oyinbo public school boys, and my spies told me that she was spotted trying hard to get off with a few.

''So be it''! I thought and didn't tell her a thing.

We eventually broke up and she tried repeatedly to get back with me. I bluntly refused her overtures. Now lets analyse this; I would not humble myself and take her back. This was in spite of the fact that she made me happy, and her lack of humility caused her to lose her man (she still calls me till date). Is it a virtue of a vice? Is it a natural state of mind, or a by product of circumstance? Is it good or bad for relationships?

Women like a guy with a bit of arrogance and swagger, but in a relationship that pride might prevent him from opening up to her fully. Most men like a woman with a little front, and would dump on a woman that is somewhat self effacing.

Humility............. A paradox indeed.

All this blogging has left me hungry, I'm on my way to go eat some humble pie. I wrote this last night, about someone that was once special to me, do remind me to blog about her soon.

Sex and the Single Bloke Part 14 (The Diary of a Nigerian Dandy)

Hello boys and girls, my name is L and I am a dandy. A great deal of effort goes into what you see, I work out religiously, I go for bi-weekly facials and I am always impeccably dressed. Everyone in Lagos knows me, I am a man around town, good looking, witty, charming and most importantly a humdinger in the sack. I am great with the ladies, very good looking and can charm the pants off any woman and her mother if need be. I am single and ever ready to mingle. I am in the prime of my life and presently seeking a great woman to spend the rest of my life with.

Ok truth be told; I am not successful; I have had to tighten my belt, scrimp, save and sell a considerable part of my inheritance to give off the illusion of wealth and success. My rent is due, I can barely afford the payments on my convertible Mercedes, however when the weekend comes appearances must be kept. The champagne will flow and I will regale my supplicants with tales of fictitious multi-million Naira deals that I am presently working on. My present girlfriend will do for the time being, but the main issue I have with her is that her father is not as wealthy as I would like; plus the old bastard is a shameless skinflint. I know that he might not be willing to buy us that home in old Ikoyi, plus he has two sons, so I guess that puts paid to my hopes of him putting me on the board of one or more of his companies. This girl doesn’t quite make the grade, due to the fact that the value added to my life is not be sufficient.

I am presently on the look out for a girl with a fabulously wealthy father, dear God please don’t let it come too late. I am already 33 and my waist is getting wider, goddamn that Boorishmale I wonder how that man still looks 25 even though he will soon be 31. My looks are fading, my Mercedes hasn’t been serviced in a long time and the various club owners in Lagos are bugging me to pay for all that Cristal I bought on credit.

When I find that rich girl, I will progressively make her dependent on me, I will make her insecure and slowly erode her confidence with my well timed put downs and eventually she will feel that no other man will have her. On my wedding day I shall dance and celebrate, my crew of “friends” will join me on the dance floor and we will shake our ashy, flabby, hairy, wrinkled and blistering asses (volcanic hemorrhoids coupled with genital warts are a bitch) whilst doing the electric slide. I will be sure to wear a Cheshire cat grin as the wedding gifts are announced.


What can I say? Now that will be a “value added” relationship.


WHO SAYS GUYS AREN’T GOLD DIGGERS TOO?


What has happened to our society? The Nigeria I left is not the Nigeria I met. What happened to us? We are on the path to destruction; we have become so obsessed with wealth, status and propagating a poor imitation of a foreign class system that cannot translate to this society. The knock on effect of all this is that we are damaging the institutions that MUST be respected. What does marriage mean to us? How could we forget that marriage is the very foundation upon which any good society is built? What will become of us if we all follow this path? Why can’t we realize that we owe it not just to ourselves, but to society at large to love and respect one another? Imagine what will become of the next generation if we don’t make a change, I foresee a future of dysfunctional families and young boys and girls growing up without proper role models. I am a man, a true man and I am aware of my responsibilities and the greatest of them will be to lay a good example to my kids and all the other children in my sphere of influence. I wish to get married for the right reasons, and it dumbfounds me that so many people cannot see the damage that is being done.

Why we see that we are destroying ourselves, we are damaging our women and our women are wrecking us, so if you are a gold digging dandy, you must realize that your actions have very far reaching effects. Maybe I am just a silly idealist but my heart truly bleeds. A change must be made.

We must dare to invent the Future.