On Self-Knowledge
Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
Kahlil Gibran
I am a firm believer in leaving people to chose their path, would there have been a Michael Jackson if his folks had forced him to become a proctologist? How would Shakespere have fared tilling the fields of Stratford upon avon? Not very well I think, it is a waste of time attempting to turn Rudulf Nureyev into Ato Boldon, so hands off and let the youth be. For a long time I repeated this mantra, however; a recent experience made my belief somewhat shaky.
“Boorish please you have to counsel your young cousin, he has gone mad”
“What is the problem this time”
“He will not kill me o”
“Aunty I sincerely hope he doesn’t kill you” said Boorish trying hard to disguise his irritation”.
“Boorish, my son wants to become a drug addicted, womanizing singer”.
“Nothing wrong with that, in so far as it is his true calling”.
“But he cannot sing”.
“Ok aunty, I will speak to him”.
I initially thought nothing of the exchange between my aunt and myself, after all maybe she mistook his rapping for singing, or maybe he is an instrumentalist. I put a call through to him and made an appointment for us to meet for drinks at my local speakeasy. The day came, I arrived early, ordered myself a bit to eat a draught lager and a double calvados to chase it. No sooner had I settled down to eat did I hear a rather high pitched voice squeal “there you are uncle Boorish, as handsome as ever”. I do not relish being called uncle, sir, egbon, oga or any thing such thing. I turned around and much to my surprise, there stood my young cousin, looking somewhat different.
I remembered my cousin as your typical rough and tumble teen, with a whole load of mischief in him. It was rather disconcerting reconciling the creature before me. My cousin had morphed into a rather effete young man wearing skinny jeans, pointed boots, a cravat, braided hair, a Turkish chain and a pair of thumb rings. I am not one to judge; after all I was a dread at some point. I asked him to sit down and asked him what he wanted to drink.
“I’ll have a cosmo”
“A what?”
“A cosmopolitan uncle”
“Call me boorish”.
“Ok Boorish, a cosmo is a cool cocktail”.
“Look kid I was once heavy in the dating game, I know what the hell a cosmo is”.
“So there is no problem”.
“I hear you are into music now”
“Yes I am” He said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of More cigarettes.
“You smoke Mores”
“I love the way they are so slender and easy to smoke”.
“What do I care how you like your eggs fried”.
“Exactly”.
“What genre of music are you into?”
“I am into gospel music, have a listen."
He handed me his ear phones, I popped them into my ears as I noticed that his I-pod was pimped out with Swarovski crystals. I listened to three tracks and gave him my verdict.
“I am not convinced that you have a future in music”
“What do you mean”
“Gospel Makossa?”
“It is innovative”.
“I can see the innovation, but can you truly justify telling people to scatter nyansh for Jesus”?
“Do you think I should have told them to, galala instead”?
I looked at his face, and the poor boy was close to tears, I wondered if I would be right to crush his dream, and break his spirit. I was between a rock and a very hard place. I looked into his eyes and beyond the mascara and eye liner laid passion. Passion for life and for gospel makossa. The foolish passion that comes with youth, the foolish passion tells you that anything is possible. The passion that great men fight to keep all their lives. The passion that causes men to try and keep trying till they achieve their dreams. I looked into his eyes and I understood.
“Scatter nyansh for Jesus is just fine my friend”.
We drank, we ate, and I saw that the young chap was simply being himself, he has only one life to live and who am I to tell him who to be, how to think and how best to live his life. Maybe gospel makossa will one day compel young people around the world to drop down and get their eagle on. Maybe it will be the greatest flop in history. It is all in the hands of the Gods, but at least the young man gave it a shot.
Meeting him again brought it home that the future is ours to dare to invent.
If you have a dream, don’t let it die, if your heart tells you something, listen to it. Risk it all and be; be the person that you know know yourself to be and turn your back to those that say you can’t.
And to all the parents out there:
The poem below was written by Kahlil Gibran a man i consider one of Gods gifts to mankind. He was the artist that painted the work of art above.
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Kahlil Gibran
15 comments:
lol @ scatter nyash for jesus...
i agree with u... but to an extent o! I think parents can sometimes confuse disenchantment with truth simply cos they forget that dreams are what create the future...so i agree that no one has the right to kill someone else's dream… however, u do have a responsibility to open his eyes up to the fact that achieving a dream is not an easy venture...it is something that one must pursue relentlessly each day...it takes dedication as devotion alone wont cut it...just because one requires strength, patience and passion to reach for the stars!
p.s
to you boorish male i applaud u as i echo the words of Danielson '…if growing up is the process of creating ideas and dreams about what life should be, then maturity is letting go again…'… when u said ‘Scatter nyansh for Jesus is just fine my friend’...I think u did just that! ;)
Thanks so mu shubby doo, it is not my place to tell him how to live. h
He has his path to follow and i hope it brings him joy.......
I love kahlil gibran...that poem is just wonderful :) U got it right, its a problem with parents, nigerian parents do it a lot, they are simply inable to free their children. They have good intentions but that's still not ok and enuf. Boorishmale u're an awesome writer nd I have to say welcome back. lol. why were u getting irritated with ur aunty btw?
@Shubbydoo: I agree with you. I also feel that one of the problems we have in our society is that we are not a people of visionaries. We follow tradition, no matter what. That is why when someone tries to break the mould, everyone runs around to reign them back in but if someone never did, how would the tradition have begun. so like you, I try to walk that fine line between my own personal reaction to an idea and trying to understand what the person is seeing.
Sometimes, the dream is vague. experience in its pursuit refines it. He might think he wants to be a singer now and he could end up, producing, managing or even in the business of selling musical instruments. The industry is so wide that he could make anything he wants for himself.
And u will be surprised that some people will want to "Scatter yansh for Jesus"...they already do
@Skinny:
Thanks so much.
My aunt is a little too dramatic for me...
@Catwalq:
I would hate to see them scatter nyansh for jesus.
lol
Thanks for the post. It reminds of me of my lil brother.
sola
@sola:
Let your brother be who his heart tells him he is......
God, I have missed your stories.
Ta for calling and you owe me a massive catch-up.
Bis bisx
@Anon:
Great chatting to you again....
Boorish Male this was a very interesting read. I could just imagine you guys talking. Quick question, don't you think we all need guidance? It is not telling him what to do, but advising him that there are other options out there and if music does not work out he can do other things (asking him what his plan B is). I am a parent and I will support my child on whatever path she chooses but I think children need guidance. My daughter likes to sing and dance. I know she cannot sing so I encourage her dancing and acting more than her singing I have never told her, child you cannot sing. Cos I know it will crush her, but I will not be truthful if I tell her she can sing and might end up creating more damage. My 2cent what do you think?
@anon:
Where do we draw the line between dispencing valuable advice and being enemies of progress? There are so many examples of people persevering and emerging victorious, inspite of the odds that were stacked against them.
So the best we can do is give our opinion and leave the decisions to the parties concerned........
What do u think?
How deep. I am going through a mid-life thing myself where I am constantly being challenged by what I have always wanted to do re-surfacing.
Right now I am considering a career change because I have done the 'right' thing all my life and now I am tired. I want to do 'Me'.
@c-word:
It is never too late to start again.......
Go for it I say, you only live once....
This is Anon-November 20, 2009 9:20:00 AM PST.
Well I agree with you. After all advise is the cheapest thing to give and life does not always work the way we expect it.Having said this I will always give my unbiased opinion and then leave it to the other person to make a decision.
Thanks for the reply!
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