Hello boys and girls, my name is L and I am a dandy. A great deal of effort goes into what you see, I work out religiously, I go for bi-weekly facials and I am always impeccably dressed. Everyone in Lagos knows me, I am a man around town, good looking, witty, charming and most importantly a humdinger in the sack. I am great with the ladies, very good looking and can charm the pants off any woman and her mother if need be. I am single and ever ready to mingle. I am in the prime of my life and presently seeking a great woman to spend the rest of my life with.
Ok truth be told; I am not successful; I have had to tighten my belt, scrimp, save and sell a considerable part of my inheritance to give off the illusion of wealth and success. My rent is due, I can barely afford the payments on my convertible Mercedes, however when the weekend comes appearances must be kept. The champagne will flow and I will regale my supplicants with tales of fictitious multi-million Naira deals that I am presently working on. My present girlfriend will do for the time being, but the main issue I have with her is that her father is not as wealthy as I would like; plus the old bastard is a shameless skinflint. I know that he might not be willing to buy us that home in old Ikoyi, plus he has two sons, so I guess that puts paid to my hopes of him putting me on the board of one or more of his companies. This girl doesn’t quite make the grade, due to the fact that the value added to my life is not be sufficient.
I am presently on the look out for a girl with a fabulously wealthy father, dear God please don’t let it come too late. I am already 33 and my waist is getting wider, goddamn that Boorishmale I wonder how that man still looks 25 even though he will soon be 31. My looks are fading, my Mercedes hasn’t been serviced in a long time and the various club owners in Lagos are bugging me to pay for all that Cristal I bought on credit.
When I find that rich girl, I will progressively make her dependent on me, I will make her insecure and slowly erode her confidence with my well timed put downs and eventually she will feel that no other man will have her. On my wedding day I shall dance and celebrate, my crew of “friends” will join me on the dance floor and we will shake our ashy, flabby, hairy, wrinkled and blistering asses (volcanic hemorrhoids coupled with genital warts are a bitch) whilst doing the electric slide. I will be sure to wear a Cheshire cat grin as the wedding gifts are announced.
What can I say? Now that will be a “value added” relationship.
WHO SAYS GUYS AREN’T GOLD DIGGERS TOO?
What has happened to our society? The Nigeria I left is not the Nigeria I met. What happened to us? We are on the path to destruction; we have become so obsessed with wealth, status and propagating a poor imitation of a foreign class system that cannot translate to this society. The knock on effect of all this is that we are damaging the institutions that MUST be respected. What does marriage mean to us? How could we forget that marriage is the very foundation upon which any good society is built? What will become of us if we all follow this path? Why can’t we realize that we owe it not just to ourselves, but to society at large to love and respect one another? Imagine what will become of the next generation if we don’t make a change, I foresee a future of dysfunctional families and young boys and girls growing up without proper role models. I am a man, a true man and I am aware of my responsibilities and the greatest of them will be to lay a good example to my kids and all the other children in my sphere of influence. I wish to get married for the right reasons, and it dumbfounds me that so many people cannot see the damage that is being done.
Why we see that we are destroying ourselves, we are damaging our women and our women are wrecking us, so if you are a gold digging dandy, you must realize that your actions have very far reaching effects. Maybe I am just a silly idealist but my heart truly bleeds. A change must be made.
We must dare to invent the Future.
29 comments:
Sensible though it is, this post made my skin crawl. Maybe it was the reality behind it all...
Ide.
It really is sad...........
the way a lot of folks are having relationships,loving and marrying for the wrong reasons
I do agree with you that bad marriages do have an effect on the larger society
I wish people can recognise the effects and start to love,live and marry for the right reason-CHARACTER
We will get dia!!!!!!!!!!!
how can people ever stop gold-digging? today's world would never allow that.
when all we see is flashy cars and houses and people disrespecting you just because you are broke?
too much discrimination every where you go.
i have noticed when i look expensive, people treat me different both white and black, especially white.
people are more responsive to my needs, they become very friendly and soak in every stupid thing you have to say.
the world has made us understand that the only way we can be treated the way we ought to be is if there is a sense of class to us.
reason why we would do absolute every thing to get that paper.
you cant work hard, you gold-dig. you cant gold-dig, you steal, you cant steal, suddenly you think of committing suicide.
aint that just a shame???
I know a lot of male gold diggers in Nigeria.I think they are as many as females now oh.Everybody watch out.I don't know what Naija is becoming.
WOW!!! Okay Boor, you truly are a man after my heart. I'm actually @ a loss for words(in a very good way). Are you truly as it seems? You'll make some woman VERY happy someday.
@idemilli:
It made your skin crawl? It might as well do that because it is actually based on a guy I know in Lagos........
@ibiluv:
By the grace of God we will gewt dia.
@lighty:
It is like you just read my mind.
It is a crying shame.
@anon:
It is a very sad state of affairs.
@miss prissy:
Why are you interested ;-)
Lol!!!!!
lol! I'm not hitting on you Mr Boor. I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm in tune with your philosophies(from reading your blog) and wondering if you're one & the same with your writing.
In regards ur post though, it's really sad when people get married for all the wrong reasons. It's no wonder divorce rates are so high. You can only keep that facade for so long. I've seen enough people walking around unhappy in their marriages & it just breaks my heart. We've created this monster of a society & now it's up to us to remedy it for our kids.
Dear Dandy L,
Ambition is good. Seek all ye desire.
Refrain thyself from destroying thine chosen's character. A being is holy ground.
Thou shalt surely hate the things ye desire including thinself.
Thy efforts shall return null and void; An unprofitable adventure.
- Wise Counsel
lol@ "ashy, flabby, ... asses..volcanic hemorrhoids.." - u funny dude!
Sadly d obsession with wealth and status has been a staple in naija for at least decades.I remember observing it while i was there. I also remember snippets of d adults discussions - seems they were doing it way back in the 50s as well.
Oju kokoro appears to be a naija trait. I mean, most humans have it, but we just seem 2 elevate it. A disease that permeates all we do - marriages, work, school, extended family, politics, even in the practice of religion (which i find especially disguting). Shame!
My prayer is dat i don't fall victim 2 it. One can only work on d face in d mirror.
It seems as if people are not falling in love anymore. It's sad that money has so much power in which it controls the way we love. People seem to be getting married for all the wrong reasons. And for note I sure dont got no rich daddy nor do I really know him...So I would advised the gold-diggers to dig the other way!
oooooh thanks for this recent post :-) you r always on point.
With regards to this male gold digging issue, some 30 smethn yr old guys actually confesed to my face that if a girl's father wasnt a minister or a govt official or politician then there was no need..and they cud never fall in love with a 'poor girl'...At that point I just about gave up all hope.
2day's society is a bit sick whether all this will change is unlikely....it has become a vicious cycle which is destroying our society.
You really do tell it as it is Boorish Male...glad we r lukn at it frm d male golddigging perspective this time around..such a shame..
Looking forward to your next post :-)
oooooh thanks for this recent post :-) you r always on point.
With regards to this male gold digging issue, some 30 smethn yr old guys actually confesed to my face that if a girl's father wasnt a minister or a govt official or politician then there was no need..and they cud never fall in love with a 'poor girl'...At that point I just about gave up all hope.
2day's society is a bit sick whether all this will change is unlikely....it has become a vicious cycle which is destroying our society.
You really do tell it as it is Boorish Male...glad we r lukn at it frm d male golddigging perspective this time around..such a shame..
Looking forward to your next post :-)
like seriously did you walk out of a romance novel? :)
Great post!!!
very thought provoking
Hey Boorish, another interesting post.
It is all well and good to say that change is needed, but it is down to like minded people like ourselves to get the ball rolling to effect this change, to make a better future for our children. Believe me I don't want to bring up my children in the Nigeria of today from the things I have heard and read. The society/community plays a big role in shaping the minds and ideals of our children, and it is important that our children are taught and exposed to the positive ways of living life and building lasting relationships not the evil they are exposed to at present. For change to happen, people need to develop self respect first then they are able to have respect for others, seeing and liking people for who they are rather than what they are worth or how they can be of benefit to them.
Our parents generation got it right, it was all about character for them especially when choosing a partner. Men respected and courted women and women respected and honoured men, WHAT HAPPENED!! Why is it so different for us now.
Sometimes I wonder if Democracy and capitalism have a role to play in the decline of our society...
@miss prissy:
I have said it so many times that if things do not get better I will relocate to a more decent society. Things are really bad here, I think that maybe I ought to blog on some of the horror stories.
@ibilola:
True words my sister, I have absolutely no time or patience for such people. Bloddy sickos, I have been exposed to the female versions of Dandy L a fair bit since I've been home. I have dated one good woman in my life (sadly she wasn't Nigerian) so I have an idea how things ought to be. If I cannot find a good thing amongst my own, then I have to move elsewhere. I have no time for bullshit.
@memphiz:
They typical Nigerian (both men and women) has absolutely no integrity. They will lie, cheat, steal and whore themselves for money.....
What a bloody shame.
@anonymous:
Could we be talking about the same person? I am totally sickened with this place. What a country.
@anon:
romance novel? give me a break, i'm just telling it as i see it. How is it going?
@nia
are you in my head?
most people get what they deserve, thats my opinion. if you go for wealth, status, class etc....you get it and only it.....being happy would be stretching it, no? but when you go for love, character, a God fearing partner, who says wealth status and class cant be a bonus a few years to come. the problem is most people are not willing to be patient. remember in this life there is something called the cycle of change. be aware!
Trust me Boorish, I have been away from Naija for a while and the gist I'm getting shocks da hell outta me...divorce are on the rise, true loving relationships are in shambles, our culture and family values are being eroded, our nation is on the throes of decadence ...young women now wants Prada bags and broke ass men are marrying rich older women to latch on to 4 life!
We've lost our value system as a society!!
"Notwithstanding, there are minds that have steps by step gone far from the call to the right path, they have gone far dreaming of possessing mansions, beautiful partners, wearing fancy clothes and driving flashy cars. Mind you, happiness does not lie in riches or by always appearing flashy. It exists where peace is. And where could peace be? Peace exist where there is true love and true love exist in the mind that believes in it; the minds that are always eager to co-operate, a heart with concern. It brings success because it encourages, it floods enmity and greediness, it waves goodbye to the pedestrian selfishness. It resides where meddling emigrated and materialism becomes a long forgotten issue..."
This is how things should be. I think you should re post this again
boor, ur post inspired my lastest post on my talent blog, u might wanna check it out, see wot u think.
how u doin? u keeping up good?
Gold diggers exist because traditionally we area lazy people.
We accepted a foreign faith and its concept of errs in judgement being cleansed because we don't want to be responsible for our own actions and the repercussions of them
We accepted the colonisation of our people because we did not want to have to go through the trouble of fighting for our identities.
We accepted polygamy because we are too lazy to face the fact that there is nothing right or healthy about relationships where any one party is property and dispensable.
We accept misery in relationships because it is actually the easier thing to do. It is the general discourse. I mean if I put up a post about how mean a guy has been to me, I will have almost sixty comments. If I post that he has been the very best, I will get a few congrats and a few "Awww"s. Working for your happiness is had work and as a lazy people, that is just not going to fly.
Boorish, pls excuse me:
@Nigeria Politriks: Do tell...what are our cultural and family values? I don't see much positive in the way families work or culture for that matter. Most of the machinations are based on hypocrisy and putting up a false front. I mean, sexual abuse is still there. Polygamy is still very much rocking. Spousal abuse is still on the agenda...
Plus I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting a prada bag...as long as she has the salary to buy one.
@TLK:
I so agree with you here, the extent to which greed and avarice had eaten into the fabric of our soceity is sickening to say the least. If yo want something you must be willing to work, be patient and make your sacrifices for it.
The problem with Nigeria today is that everyone is seeking the easy ride, and to rely on the sweat of others to achieve these ends. The men are more interested in 419 for quick gains and the women are more interested in shagging for the money or marrying up to live that life.
But really is there such a thing as marrying up? The rich side of the family will forever treat you as the wannabe and will never truly accept you. Come on I am sure that they can spot a gold digger from a mile off.
@NIGERIA POLITRICKS:
Tell me about it mate, when Fela used to sing about what a bad society we lived in, some thought he was mad. But his words have truly come to pass. What a sadstate of affairs.
@Nia:
Well written, are you a writer by any chance? If not I think you should put your words to paper, I am most impressed by what you wrote.
@Lighty:
I am good, thanks for asking, I will check out your talent blog once I am through replying to all my comments.
@CATWALQ:
You are so right, how can a woman that is educated and intelligent settle for a life of glorified prostitution? How can an intelligent and resourceful man be content with 419 and all sorts of crap simply because he is too lazy to seek another path? Easy money never lasts, you just fritter it away because you did not truly earn it.
You took the words right out of mouth. Yep its sad now, how the society worships money, social status, the right people and so on.
When i take a look at how the society is, my skin crawl and break out in hives
Also the hypocrisy kills...
@Catwalq: We accepted polygamy? Surely, that is the way things are meant to be?
It breaks my heart hearing these stories cos they're so real and Nigerians have gone soo deep into their actions that it has become normal and i honestly thnk it's too late to do anything about it, well, except for divine intervention.
Speaking of our culture being eroded, i think it's almost dead, yeah, maybe u'll see a couple of "ankara" dresses and shirts once in a while, but that's about it, we're soo americanised in every sense of the word..divorce???? was that even ever an option in nigeria? not sure about that!
Really and truly though, there's more to life than material things and when we're dead and buried, it's just going to be us turned into dust, no one's gonna bury ur fancy car or that 'prada bag' with u!!! Thanx for this Boorish male! Cheers!
@Nneka's world:
I could easlily be a part of this so called right clique. But I have rejected it al because i see it for the farce that it truly is.
@miss strayberry:
Anytime..
@Catwalq,
There is nothing wrong with wanting or buying Prada bags, but when you live in society where we place our value system on the things of the west; where corruption is glorified instead of hardwork, where pretentious living has become the order of the day, where women sell their bodies a dime a piece and our young men are too eager to thread dishonorable paths to acquire the finer things in life; then I think we have lost our moral compass as a society.
We are joined in the hips on these issues, but we are looking at it in different context!
"When I find that rich girl, I will progressively make her dependent on me, I will make her insecure and slowly erode her confidence with my well timed put downs and eventually she will feel that no other man will have her."
Okay, this statement really got to me. Talk about emotional abuse to the highest degree. I shudder at the thought that someone would actually plan to destroy another's self-esteem. Unfortunately, too many of us fall victim to this kind of abuse. What is this world turning into? :-(
@miss prissy:
It is a very common tactic used by both men and women. Very sad indeed
The first half of this had me going "what are you like! LOL!"
But the fact is: its ALL true.
We saw these men back when we were in school, my friends & I, and we wondered who they thought they were kidding.
I'm very lightskinned and voluptous (no, that is not code for Sista-big-bones) and you know the implications of that in our society (unfortunately) and as a result I've met ALL kinds of men.
All I keep thinking is these ASSES are people's husbands and dads!!
I actually have a couple of guy friends who have, in their grand plan of successful living, decided to date to secure their future.
I'm talking serial monogamy involving Senators', Ambassadors' & even Presidents' daughters.
Yes, more than one.
And they ALWAYS have their "real girlfriends" on the side.
Wurrever.
Luckily, I can honetly say I dont have ONE girlfriend like that. And I can say that because my girlfriends are few and very valuable and I'd definitely like people to see me when they see THEM.
I honetly think its so pretentious and manipulative.
Cold is the shortest way to say it really.
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