Sex and The Single Bloke part 10. Show some respect gaddemit.

Call me stubborn, call me stiff (no pun intended), call me conceited, call me obnoxious, hit me, spank me (oops!, kindly disregard that), have me hung drawn and quartered. I don't care, I will forever speak my mind.

Why is it that women feel that they manipulate and treat men like crap, simply because they feel they have something that he wants?

Case in point: the other day I received a phone call and it went this way:

"Boorish, I'm horny, come over and pick me up"

"What?"

"Boorish come on, I want you"

''OK lets get this clear, YOU are horny, and YOU want me to cut short my quality time and drive over to your place and sort YOU out?''

Said boorish, wondering if he was hallucinating.

"Worrashit woman are you for real?''

"What is that supposed to mean boorish? ''After all you wanted this not too long ago''.

''Yes I felt the urge ONCE, but you were fronting, probably because you had some dude slipping it to you at that point in time''. Said boorish, clearly bemused at the arrogance of his friend.

''You are nothing but an idiot boorish, an arrogant idiot''.

''Sweetheart, do you think that because you have a hole between your legs, that I will put all aside to make my way across Falomo bridge and pleasure you?''

What about my needs?''

''I am not gagging for it at present, so you should have asked nicely and maybe I MIGHT have considered it''.

She dropped the phone and didn't speak to me for a couple of days, we have since made up, and sex is most definitely not on the agenda.

Ladies, why is it that you believe that all men are rabid, sexually incontinent beasts? OK, I must admit that most are, but you must view us without prejudice. I have never and will never beg, grovel or pander to a woman to get in her pants. The reality of it is that you all need it just as much as we do. Which of you wouldn't much rather be bent over the couch with a nice stiff one in you as opposed to what you are doing now (if you are getting some, good for you)?

I have never had much trouble attracting women, admittedly I am a rather good looking fellow, I just happen to like the women that are honest, not manipulative, mature and will give a brother a fair chance without dragging him over hot coals to prove his worth. I am not saying that I like an easy shag, what I am saying is that there is no need for games. Simply keep it real and be confident enough not to get an ego boost out of the fact that he happens to like you.

As sung by New Edition: 'easily you can be left alone, tighten it up, before you find yourself by yourself''.

SHOW SOME RESPECT GODDAMIT