I met her at a hypnotists' show at the bar at my halls of residence, i didnt think much of her as she seemed a little awkward and unsure of herself, and I was a cocky, over confident party boy . The second time I met her was at the University halloween party which was held at the student union, she came dressed as one of the characters from the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical: Cats. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her cat suit, her dark skin, washboard stomach, ample hips and lovely face had me taken aback.
"I really like you", she said obviously mustering up the Dutch courage to make that statement under the influence of a few black velvets (at my rather pretensious university, we thought it rather cool to drink classic cocktails), and she walked off in the opposite direction, oblivious to the fact that i might have wanted a little more that just a statement from her. I didn't hear from her again till a couple of weks later when a friend of mine told me of this half European and half Arab girl that she overheard speaking of me and how much she liked he but felt i was out of her league. I instinctively knew it was her, and considering how sexy she looked in her cat suit I felt she would easily be another notch in my belt.
Pursue her I did, and I felt myself being taken in not just by her physical beauty, but her allure, her seductivenes inspite of the fact that she was demure and the purity of her heart. I ended up dating this woman for five and a half years of my life. What went wrong? The fact that I was insecure and young, the fact that I had this overwhelming fear of being hurt, the fact that I was too afraid to share my weaknesses and fears with her. She was my best friend, my mother, my lover and my confidante, no secret of mine did she leak, she toned down my self destructive urges, she supported me through the bad and celebrated the good with me. Together we felt we could conquer the world. She always put me first, but My childishness prevented me from reciprocating the loyalty she showed me.
I am grateful for the experience of knowing her, because she showed me what a true relationship ought to be, and through her i know not to accept any compromises. Will I make the same mistakes again? Never. Will i cherish my future mate? Most definitely. Will I be forever grateful to her for the experience of knowing and sharing a good portion of my life with her? Without a doubt, for with her support, I felt I could look into the eye of a storm and feel no fear, because I had an unyeilding and unflinching force, buttressing me against all the possible pitfalls of life.
It ended, but at least I know what to look out for when seeking a life partner.
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39 comments:
Lovely blog boorish male. I guess it seems like you haven't found another quite like her. Goodluck!
Joni Mitchell nevered lied, man you dont know what youve got till its gone! I hope you let her know all of this? Anyhow like everything in life it was a lesson and you learnt it, so it can only make you better for the next woman you fall in love with. Nice1
@my heart
I guess not, but it takes time to reach that point. i dont doubt that it might happen aagain.
Thanks for stopping by.
@cheetarah
I guess you are right....
How is it going?
You live, you learn. Great post, boorish. Good to have you back.
@daddy's girl
Good to be back.
:-)
It's going ok took half day coz im under the weather, u alright? Thanks for trying to scare me tho, wetin I do you?!, reminds you of brandon lee!!Lol!Abeg o, free me
@cheeterah
Wasn't trying to scare you!!!
Get well soon gorgeous..
u never know what you have till it's gone..............then again, u might find it again, one dat would be forever
Thanks so much gucci!!!!
awww, such nice post. i guess evrythng in lyf dey say, happens 4 a reason. where u been tho??? been waitin 4 a new post from u oflate or atleast an update on ur sex(lol).
@chicka
Thanks again for dropping by, will try my best to update regularly...
anytime..... by d way, i was wondering, do u guys still keep in touch? (im talkin bout u nd ur ex gurl)
@chicka
Sadly no,
It is so strange....
y?? dats if u dont mind me askin
Initially i found it painful so i kinda withdrew, and when we did get back in touch, she resented the fact that i wasnt there. We do e-mail each other once in a while......
awwwww!!! so sad. u story sounds so familiar. i mean, ive got a friend who went thru d same thng wit u, he felt dem (he nd d gurl) keeping deir distance wld be d best 4 both of em. but i just neva seemd 2 understand y. dats was y i askd nd ive come 2 realize most guys do that wen in similar situations
We tend to do that, and you women just dont get it. We just cant fugure each other out can we? One thing i have learnt it to keep your woman happy, allow her exert mer god given right to be a diva....
Am i correct?
lol...very correct hun
@chicka
Believe me i learnt.... The hard way, the world must revolve around her. But still be firm (only when nessesary), make her believe she is the most beautiful thing on earth. Damn women are so much fun....
lol...y do i feel lyk ur makin a complaint????
@CHICKA
complaint? So far from the truth. In all honesty i enjoy it, i love buying the gifts and surprises, It makes me feel good. My wealth will not nessesarily be obvious on me, but look at my woman and then you will know. It is an ego thing for me, my chick must be the envy of all others.
now see if all men think like that...dere'ld def be less break ups.
ok maybe not...cos material thngs really dont make a relationship work but it helps sha(no lie!)
Wow, that just brought back memories for me man......She'll never love another like you, and well in the future you must learn to give into love like it was the air that you breathe, let love take you places. Sure it'll hurt you but then it'll free you to other wonderful experiences like pain and suffering, suicidal attempts, happiness (you know you're never trully happy till you are in love...with something), and selflessness.....
Aww. Well sometimes, the ex-girlfriends and old relationships are a primer for what's to come....
@mamarita
Preach on sister.
@Uzo
Lets wait and see
i feel u o, been thru same thing.but hey,its one part of ur life u wont forget at least 4 a while, but believe me it'l pass with time and the experience shld help u the next time u find some1 like that, like u said u'r grateful for the experience of knowing her.so the best is yet to come. nice post by the way.
Awww this is a really sweet post, sorry if you don't like your writing being called sweet but it is.
It's a shame it ended but to be honest I don't think that we're supposed to end up with everyone we fell in love with ... it seems you learnt a lot from her and it's good that you can say that at least.
Its all about learning and growing. I hope i've had enough lessons though lol. They truly suck.
Mushy sturves boorish male. Don't you worry you'll find another if you are patient enough and boy will she be lucky! You just have to make sure that you put what you've learnt into practice.
now if this was "don't be a menace" keenan would have popped up to scream "message" right about now. I kid, I kid. Even with all the extras u implied still 5 and a half years; color me impressed.
That was emotional.learning from mistakes is the best thing knowing u wouldn't repeat the same thing again. Hope you find and get her who would make you a happy and proud man.
awwwwww. That was very touching. If you knew then what you know now do you really feel that you would still be with her.
5 years is a long time to be with someone and it must have been hard. for you.
and FINALLY an update!!
BM, since she was so great, why don't you go back to her? Or is it too late? Late, meaning married.
Nawa o. Five years is an awefully long time; I don't wanna spend that much time with someone only for it to fall apart.
You said she was your best friend; to have a best friend in a lover is such a beautiful thing, so if you still love, and if it is not too late, you might wanna consider it. Unless, of course, you're just not interested anymore.
I hope she's doing great in whatever she is doing.
I feel you son. Believe me i do.
I totally feel u on this post.
Been there and it wasnt fun letting the past go. I guess we live and learn. Experience and Explore....
Nice to see the dudes feel the pinch too!
I hope u find the real HER
See BabaAlaye calling BM 'son' oh. So because of Bukky and his alleged near death experience (with the egwusi soup he THOUGHT might be poisoned), he don dey feel like pesin wey.... okay, scratch this pidgin, it's too hard!
My point is that his experience with Bukky has made him feel wiser and older. Hmmmmmmmm.
Hmm,
Really nice and touching post.
Why can't you go back to her?
Well,whatever the case is,I pray you find another,and both of you will be happy,without you comparing her to the former.
All the best!
5 and a half yearS? dang! I'm happy you had that experience though... you'll know better next time... Just thank God for experiences... it's the journey that counts.. not the destination
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