I regret returning from Europe without a wife or fiancee at least. I
am facing so many struggles; culture shock, lack of contacts, lack of friends (I have so many aquaintances, but my boys are still in the UK). I regret wasting time skirt-chasing, when I had so many opportunities to settle down with truly decent and loving women (none since i've returned).
I realise now that when there you have two people with the same goal, the obstacles and problems are halved. I hope to meet the right one soon, I pray I haven't missed the boat...................
34 comments:
Not even one since you came back? That's sad. Can't you go back to someone in your past? You seem to have quite a few of them.
Hey!am getting a tad bit worried about you, strange coz I dont know u but your post are becoming more and more melancholic esp since you spoke to ur ex. My Guy! I want to shake you! What boat did you miss? U havent missed nada, u did what you had to do back then and now ur grown! Imagine being past 30 and doing all of that!Ur past it now coz its outta ur system. As per ur wife: shez somewea out dea u may have met her and not yet realized it. Have you ever tot of meeting up with some bloggers, most of them are in the same boat asper culture shock it might not be so bad. I should email this but I dont want to be intrusive, forgive me if I have come across as such but like I said I was just worried.
Sweetie - I'm sure there are soo many people who would jump at the chance to be your partner! I know of soo many girls who moved back purely to find a man - and then one as endearing and accomplished as you? Well...
You shouldn't live your life with regrets! Your experiences have made you who you are today and you seem nice enough. So dont knock it!
You're just lonely I guess - go out more and be more open to the people you do meet. Nigerians are not the most forthcoming of people - but who knows you might just meet someone you click with it. Hope you have a good week.
Me First yeah...
Sweetness, how can you miss the boast when you have me?.
Let me not trip anymore and get down to the nitty gritty.
I know a lot of times we think we've missed the boat,cause you get to a certain age and things become very confusing.
I have a life, a well paying career and all the expensive things a girl can want but even in all these I have to admit I get lonely at timed and wonder why I hvaen't found the "one".
Not because I can't get a date, I have a zagat survey of choice restaurants and a blackbook of numbers of men who will pick me up at the drop of a dime to eat out anywhere, but is that all?.
When you live in the US for instance, you are limited by the monotony of life and people around you, most times you question intentions alot of time you can't communicate.
In the quest for acceptance most times you miss the boat and make life changing mistakes.
I take it one day at a time now, building friendships and growing as a person, "Life gives to the giver and takes from the taker".
I do not intend to limit myself or shortchange myself for the sake of meeting "the one". He will find me I'm sure but till then "it is what it is"
Sweets, our lovemaking last night was beyond words" You my friend are a lover!
@anonymous:
Not one meaningful encounter since I got back. The past is the past, no need going back. Got to look forward.
cheetarah:
It is interesting the way we can so easily let our guards down over the internet. I for one do feel a certain bond with the regular readers of my blog (yourself included)so I definitely do not consider your post to be intrusive. In fac it brought a smile to my face. hanks gorgeous. :-D
@Noni:
Thanks so much, my present state is mostly due to the fact that the good majority of Nigerian women are so caught up in the whole cheap snobbery and falseness of Lagos. Everyone has a point to prove, it is so sad. I was pretty much a boy when i left, so it all seems so alien to me. I guess I am too down to earth for Lagos.......
I wonder what the weather is like in Zamfara right now? Lol
@anonymous:
It is not due to lack of opportunities that I am single, I need to feel some sort of a connection with the person. I guess what ever will be, will be....
Last night was great baby, can we do it again tonight?
Just a lil more patience Boor,
You haven't missed the boat
I regret wasting time skirt-chasing, when I had so many opportunities to settle down with truly decent and loving women
There is no time for regrets and what ifs, deal with what is,
Life has no gurantees, what you had settled then, will you still be together now? Maybe, maybe not.
Take it slow and remember we are different from each other,you are in a different environment now.
You wil find your boat soon.
wats goin on wit u of late boorish?? all ur posts seem 2 be so ........(i dont even kno wat 2 say) but trust me u definitely did not miss any boat, ur just waitin 2 board the ship.
try new things...atleast thats wat im tryin 2 do 4 myself (as soon as i get myself 2gether)
so evry1 has comment moderation now??? wats that all abt?
@Omohemi:
Thanks so much, you definitely have a way with words.....
@i'm a babe:
Will drop by your blog right now!!!!!
hey, don't know what's brought all this gloominess on. I don't think there's such a dearth of good people to hang with in Lagos, maybe you just haven't been hanging with the right crowd. Fakes and snobs definitely do not feature in my crowd. From your blog (and remember i said this the very first time) I can tell that you are a kind, sensitive man. There are several good women out there who are looking for you. Don't let the loneliness push you into anything you might end up regretting. It might take a while but believe me, you will find that one woman who completes you.
I've been feeling blue for a completely different set of reasons; because of things which you seem to be handling quite well. Buck up my borther, it is well.
p.s, care to fill out an application on my blog? it might cheer you up (yes, shameless soliciting)
Tell you what though...there are decent ladies in Lagos. Many of my friends are single. There's just a disconnect somewhere.
@Adumadan:
Thanks so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them.
What bothers you? Can I be of help? Will filling out your application help? I'll get onto it straight away.
@My Heart:
Thanks so much, there must be a disconnect I guess.
Hey Boorish male... don't know you from "jack" but would love to chat with u... do u have messenger or yahoo?
Hey Hey Hey!
Can't let my Brother Boorish feel this way...
How about this one from Flatpick and Clawhammer
Somewhere, somebody's waiting for you, you, you.
Somewhere, somebody's waiting whose smile is true
And someday, you'll find somebody who loves you too
Somewhere, somebody's waiting for you, you, you.
[Joel Mabus]
Loads of love to you...
[ am in a similar situation ...but am turning myself more to Peace related activities...helping the tsunami victims etc...like Thomas kelly's words go..."Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call, a premonition of richer living, which we know we are passing by . Strained by the very pace of our daily outer burdens , we are further strained by an inward uneasiness, because we have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence , a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power in A Testament of Devotion
"]
:)
Just your sister
Wait for me?
But if you can't, here is praying that the creator send you "SHE" whom was made for you, and you for her.
Thank you for filling out the application. Did it cheer you up? If only my issues could be dealt with so easily. I'm struggling with a number of potentially life altering decisions right now and still feel as if I'm not going anywhere. Does that make sense?
@anonymous:
Would love to chat to you, add me on yahoo messenger: boorishmale
or e-mail me at boorishmale@yahoo.com
@my sister from the land of Mahatma: Thank you, you are so kind. I guess we are all in this mess together, facing similar challenges. It makes it that much easier having the likes of you to moan to. For that I thank you. Lots of luv, your brother from Nigeria.
@Uzo:
Wait for you? You bet I would ;-)
@Adumadan:
We are all facing struggles and challenges, try to stay focused. E go beta!!!!!!
just to let u kno dat, its these intensely frustrating situations that make us better ppl and aid in building character in every human being.
p.s. u sound [shud i say write] like some1 i kno tho...
I am pretty sure, lovely ladies that are up to standards , ladies worth marriagable are in Naija ooh...
You are such a good man, some lady will obviously pass your way pretty soon. I am quite sure of that...
heck my sister is single sha but older, evne though she's pretty, I will NEVER hook her up with a sane man!
I felt like this post hit extremely close to home, it felt like you were in my head. I think about this all the time, maybe i missed the boat also.
It's sad 'cause the woman i feel is meant to be my wife is married now, I treated her really bad, I mean this girl loved me with all heart. I just look back now, and I wish i could take back what i did. The sad thing is I see her almost everyday in Lagos with her husband, and I just wonder if that should be me. She's still as beautiful as she's always been, very intelligent, very rare, I loved that she was so unconventional but i lost her, I was too busy chasing skirts...
I have a feeling that you wil meet the right person soon.
At least u have taken the first step and admitted that u have been wasting ur time with all the 'skirt chasing' activity.
Then again, u are in Naij, in Lagos...believe it or not there are loads of responsible and fiiine women out there, u just have to be sure of what u r looking for.
Many guys say they are ready to settle down but when ms right comes along, they blow the chance by triffling.
Outline the qualities u want in a future partner, keep ur eyes open and pray.
Good luck
I feel you man. It's the rare ones I like too. Bohemian. Not all these Chanel and Louis Vuitton bag toting shallow Nigerian women. But they are hard to find.
That's us men for you. Sometimes we self-sabotage, throw away a good thing, marry some woman we can barely stand, then spend the rest of our empty lives in regret. Sad ain't it. So be wise all of you. If you have a good thing, pray to recognise it, cos it ain't always easy to do so. And hold on to it tightly. Sometimes our male egos cloud our judgement much to our regret later in life. Insightful post Boorish Male. I've been there.
Boorish, even though I do not know you, I really believe you're a great guy. Perhaps, the time isn't right for you to meet the one who will win your heart and whose heart you will win. Be patient, Dear.
I wish I could hook you up... but my gals r here...and no1 wants a long distance relationship *sobs*
like what first anon said,i really cant believe that you havent met anyone since you got back.Am sure there is someone you think about but when the thought comes you probably go naaah......
anyway hope you finally get something you want
Hey, 6 words for you Boorish: "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR LOVE". Why would you, a young, fine, talented, honest brother "miss the boat"? It just ain't happening. You surely will find her - just keep looking. Good luck!
PS I agree with Bella and Blacktinkerbell - there are definitely some down-to-earth, responsible, beautiful and 'real' women in Lagos - I believe you will soon meet one of them when you least expect it, and you should believe it too! Okay, now be happy. LOL
"regret wasting time skirt-chasing, when I had so many opportunities to settle down with truly decent and loving women"
Dear Boorish, the first step was admitting the deed. The next step is not make the same mistake with the next truly decent and loving woman that comes your way! Good luck in finding the ONE.
Hi Hon
Don't know what to say. I just remember this quote
"Where there is no struggle, there is no strength." – Oprah Winfrey
You will come through this time a better human being in all and every way. (You and I know that you are the biz.
Many, many Blessings.
PS - You have not...I repeat not missed the boat
@Phazzed:
Drop me an e-mail boorishmale.blogspot.com
You might just know me.
@Inuke Omotola Davis:
Thanks so much
@number1fan
Thanks sweetheart
@daddy's girl:
Thanks, lets wait and see.
@anonyous:
@anaonymous:
I feel you! However, there's no such thing as you'v missed your boat; ever heard of a second chance? Yes, God causes this to happen to all of us. So, shine your eyes now and grasp any oppurtunity of connecting with. A hint; get searching in the areas of your intrest mostly. Hint, lagos babes always want to prove something; be careful so u dont end up with one who wants u to dance! dance!! dance! to the beat of thier tunes.......u aint a toy man brother! All the best!
@wunmi:
Thanks so much.... :-)
Unbelieveable.
I have read your blog and you seem like such a nice man. I bet you're not bad looking either.
Please don't feel regret. You just haven't met her YET!
@littlegirllost:
Thanks so much, Lets keep our fingers crossed....
awwwww
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